a statement of opinion related to a random frustration

I know I haven't been overwhelmingly perky lately (I dunno, some of you might be sighing in relief), but I've just gotta vent about something that happened today. Please bear with me. Or tiger or lion with me, I don't care. As long as I can just get this out. ;o)

It really, really annoys me that so many people absolutely refuse any sort of psychological therapy or counseling on the grounds that “they're not crazy.”

WHAT IN THE WORLD??? You don't have to be totally psycho or maladjusted to benefit from therapy! If I recommend it, it's only because you, like every other human being on this planet, have trouble dealing with some area in your life......most likely in the area of communication with other people! It doesn't mean I think you're crazy, it doesn't mean I don't like you, it doesn't mean I think there's something inherently wrong or sick or evil about you.......It means that I've been listening to you, and I hear the pain that you can't seem to get rid of, and I think you might get some good out of talking to someone who's been trained to help people find healthy solutions to their problems! It's because I recognize that you need someone to talk to besides me!

After all, I majored in Psychology for three years, and I have a minor in the field. That doesn't mean that I am qualified to do any sort of counseling—I acknowledge freely and happily that I have no business going around analyzing everybody—but I do have experience that has shown me the positive ways therapy and counseling can change people's lives. Not only do I have some experience through education, but I also have quite a bit of personal experience in that I've gone to a counselor/therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist/alloftheabove myself. And it helped me. So, believe me, I'm not telling you anything I haven't already told myself.

I guess I'm just tired of the prejudices people have against professional counseling/therapy. They're more than happy to skedaddle off to a physician when there's something physically wrong.....but when it comes to taking care of their mental/emotional/spiritual health, they turn stubborn and claim they don't need help with it at all, because “only crazy people need a shrink.” Oh, and those who claim not to need any help at all are perfectly well adjusted, is that it?

Okay, I feel better now. See? That's what therapy does: You talk to somebody about your difficulties, and afterwards you feel better. I gripe to regular blogreaders and assorted anonymous lurkers about what's irritating me, and afterwards I feel better.

I'm sure a professional counselor wouldn't do anything remotely like this. ;o)

Audioblogger Vexes Eternal Optimist Woman....details at 11

a short story

One rainy Saturday afternoon, as cars whizzed past at 120 mph, Ed and Courtney stood at the side of the Autobahn and watched the mechanic loading their car onto the tow truck.

"We had a low tire anyway," observed Ed.

Courtney replied, "Then it's just as well the engine quit."

And the moral of this story is: Either a head gasket is blown, or the timing belt broke. Whichever it is, it's expensive, and we're now walking.

I. Corinthians 10:13
I. Corinthians 10:13
I. Corinthians 10:13 ;o)

something I'm thinking about

"I believe that much of our evangelism is ineffective because we depend too much upon technique and strategy. Evangelism has slipped into the sales department. I am convinced that we must look at Jesus, and the quality of life he calls us to, as a model for what to believe and how to reach out to others."

--Rebeca Manley Pippert
Out of the Saltshaker

a few thoughts

FYI, I've answered all comments, as far as I can tell. If I've missed any, y'all are welcome to point 'em out to me.

We started and almost finished painting the church building this week. Pictures to come soon. We wanted to finish today, but it's raining, so we're hoping to get it done over the weekend.

There's a serious situation developing in Ed's family. I can't give you any details, but I'm asking those of you who pray, please pray for strength and wisdom and guidance for Ed's family and for Ed and me. Just trust that God knows what you're praying about. Thanks.

Love to all,

C.

Courtney on the web

Credit where credit is due, I got this idea from my Honorable friend Patricia. ;o) I typed my name into Google. What follows is my Top Ten List of Google Items Related To My Name. Google yourself and see what you come up with!

Courtney, Googled

1. Courtney…protected under United States and International Copyright Laws.
No cloning, please. I'm ticklish.
2. Courtney plays jazz in the UK.
Yes…I’m really wicked on the tenor sax.
3. Courtney…gives seminars on EMF Balancing Technique an energy system designed to work with the "Phoenix Factor", a model of the human energy anatomy.
Did you know I’m one of the original Ghostbusters?
4. On Motorsport Images, Courtney covers rallying in Ireland.
This is on the weekends, when I’m not toting my saxophone around the United Kingdom.
5. Courtney wants to talk about piracy and music.
Arrr, matey…what be them sweet notes you be singin’ thar, ye yellow-livered landlubber?!
6. Perhaps you are looking for Courtney?
Oh, I found me a long time ago. But if anyone else is looking for me, please let me know.
7. Courtney is in the second half of her weight loss journey.
The first half must’ve been rough…I seem to have blocked it from memory.
8. Courtney often engages in scandals and obscene actions.
The truth comes out…that’s just the kind of girl I am.
9. The company must just know that Courtney is a hussy.
I think I read a memo on that.
10. Gabriel is a SATAN detector, similar to Courtney.
That’s much better! Even archangels are compared to me. ;o)

pretty dumb for a human

a blogging etiquette question

For those of you reading this, I've got a few questions for ya. For those of you not reading this...it's not gonna affect you one way or the other, so stop not reading. ;o)

Anyway...I'm just curious:

Do you leave comments on the blogs of people you don't know?
If so, then why?
If not, why not?

apology

Gentle Readers,

I want to apologize to you for inconveniencing you by enabling word verification on my blog. It was a necessity, as the volume of spam I was getting increased by 100% over the last 10 days. Since I loathe such infestation--about as much as I loathe the real-world infestation my sinuses are suffering--I felt compelled to fight back the only way I know how. I know it makes commenting a little less quick-and-easy, but I do hope you won't let that deter you from flooding my blog with your witty and generous responses to every single post I make here.

And I'm not at all shameless about hinting! How dare you insinuate such? ;o)

(P.S. Anybody get the "Gentle Readers" reference?)

update

Well, it looks like I'm headed back up, out of the pit of slime and ooze infesting my head. You liked that mental picture, dintcha? ;o)

Seriously, though....the meds seem to be kicking in. I definitely feel better this morning, though I must add the caveat that mornings and early afternoons are always better. It's evenings and nights that tell the real story. I think the antibiotics keep me awake at night--I wake up several times each night, feeling as though every nerve in my body is just thrumming. Like bugs crawling under my skin. I also have weird dreams anytime I'm on antibiotics. Last night, I was a little kid with a Star-Trek-esque communicator, and I was frantically calling for help while an orbiting satellite shot laser beams at me. What a life.

Anyway, at least my ears are moderately clear today--I can hear again--and my sense of smell is starting to return. I was able to identify a slight taste to my cereal this morning. Woo-hoo.

something that makes me feel better

April and Clint sent me this hilarious e-card, which I wanted to share with all of you. It really made me laugh, which is a rare occurrence when I'm feeling the way I am right now. But, as James reminded me just a few days ago...laughter is the best medicine!

It certainly seems to work faster than any of the pills I've been swallowing. ;o)

So thanks, guys!!!

P.S. I'd say the gooky green color is pretty accurate. ;oP

another excerpt from Courtney's journal

November 11, 2004

The following lyrics are Sting’s song “Dead Man’s Rope” from his Sacred Love album. This album will never be my favorite—it’s too “techno,” too synthesized, not enough variety to suit me. But this song has really touched me deeply. Here are the lyrics, and then my comments:

A million footsteps, this left foot drags behind my right
But I keep walking, from daybreak 'til the falling night
And as days turn into weeks and years
And years turn into lifetimes
I just keep walking, like I've been walking for a thousand years

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,

If you're walking to escape, to escape from your affliction
You'd be walking in a great circle, a circle of addiction
Did you ever wonder what you'd been carrying since the world was black?
You see yourself in a looking glass with a tombstone on your back

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away in anger, walk away in pain
Walk away from life itself, walk into the rain

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
I'm just hanging here in space

Now I'm suspended between my darkest fears and dearest hope
Yes I've been walking, now I'm hanging from a dead man's rope
With Hell below me, and Heaven in the sky above
I've been walking, I've been walking away from Jesus' love

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away in anger, walk away in pain
Walk away from life itself, walk into the rain

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
I'm just hanging here in space

The shadows fall
Around my bed
When the hand of an angel,
The hand of an angel is reaching down above my head

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
Now I'm walking in his grace
I'm walking in his footsteps
Walking in his footsteps,
Walking in his footsteps

All the days of my life I will walk with you
All the days of my life I will talk with you
All the days of my life I will share with you
All the days of my life I will bear with you

Walk away from emptiness, walk away from sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away from anger, walk away from pain
Walk away from anguish, walk into the rain.

--Sting
“Dead Man’s Rope”

Earlier, for the first time, I listened to this song while reading the lyrics. I don’t know why—maybe because I’m tired, maybe because I’ve felt pressured from many sides lately, maybe because I’ve been doubting self and most people around me lately—but as I sat there, reading and listening, I started crying. The crying turned into outright sobbing, and I just sat here with tears running down my face...

...[T]hat’s what it is to walk into the Lord’s embrace. It means walking away from emptiness, sorrow, yesterday, pain, anger, anguish, from life itself. It means that all my life, Jesus will walk with me, talk with me, share with me, bear with me. And I’ve felt this way for so long: that I’m suspended somewhere, in between somewhere, heaven above me, and the past—my sin, which creates hell for me—below me. I’m waiting on Jesus to fold me to him and hide my soul forever in the cleft of the rock, protected forever from everything. I am walking in his grace, because he has saved me.

still sick

Got 10-day antibiotic from doctor this afternoon. Has cool-sounding name (meds, not doctor): ciprofloxacinhydrochloride 1 H2O.

Since my daily beta-blocker is propranololhydrochloride, I wonder how off-the-charts the level of hydrochloride in my body is right now. Wish I knew more about chemistry. Be fun to draw the chemical structure of the stuff I'm taking. Always liked drawing chemical structures in school.

I remember hydrchloride is HCl. Don't remember if there are + or - numbers that go with it. Don't remember how to draw it, either. Sad.

Think I'm running a fever, so I'm gonna stop writing now.

Stupid-kenupid sinuses. >:o/

image and description of rejected pic

Please disregard the date above. I posted this here for the sake of convenience on August 17, 2006.

Picture:

Description:

'Prophetess of the Dragon'

Painting created sometime in 2001. I saw a glass head in a store. It was one of those glass heads intended for displaying hats. I saw this glass head, and I knew I had to have this glass head. I knew I had to paint this glass head. So I bought this glass head and painted it. Ta-dah. ;o)

I call her "Prophetess of the Dragon" because when I was finished with her, I realized that she's the perfect representation of a race of prophetic, elf-like creatures in the fantasy trilogy I've been writing since my late teens. Exactly what the "Dragon" part means, I don't know yet. (No relation to Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series, I assure you!)

She now sits atop a huge sideboard in my livingroom, surveying her domain from above and weirding out first-time visitors to my apartment. ;o)

Someday, I will buy more glass heads and paint them, too.

Oil paints on hollow glass head-shape, young adult human head size. Photo taken by me; used
with permission. ;o)

Uploaded August 2006.

sites i frequent

Some Writing-Life Resources:

Thesaurus.com, the thesaurus and dictionary that work best for me.
Wikipedia, where I've learned about bellmetal, fencing, Redwoods, archivolts, and lots more!
Leo, an English-German, German-English online dictionary.
NaNoWriMo, where you can undertake the crazy task of writing a 50,000 word novel during November each year! I've NaNo-ed four times now, and am pleased to call it a yearly habit. ;o)
NaNo 2003: over 50k (novel incomplete)
NaNo 2004: didn't make it past 12k :o(
NaNo 2005: over 50k (novel incomplete)
NaNo 2006: over 50k, and new novel complete!!!

Others:

My Other Blog, where I post Bible studies and other helpful materials.
ChessWorld--play chess online.
Oklahoma Christian University, where I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in English/Writing in December 1999.
Ancestry.com--build your own family tree and research your ancestors.
TCK World, which explains a lot about who I am and why! ;o)

announcing two blogs

Gentle Readers,

I would like to point you in the direction of two blogs:

1. Chocolate Fighters
This blog is for (A) all of you health-conscious crazy people who want to join the crusade against chocolate together with Vanessa and me, and (B) all of you possibly more realistic people who'd like (a) to read about how tough it is to give up chocolate and (b) to laugh at those of us who are making this nutty attempt. As part of an attempt to live and eat healthier, Vanessa and I have decided to give up chocolate, and she started a blog about it, which I suspect is going to be more of a support club/therapy group.

For those of you who know me, you already know that my giving up chocolate is more than likely to put me in therapy, anyway. ;o)

Just FYI, most of the Chocolate Fighters blogposts will be in German, but I plan to make mine in English for my non-German-speaking readers. I'll be posting under the name "noMerci."

2. Opera Singer's Daily
I am most pleased to announce that my dad, Bill Weger, has a blog! Over the last 25 years of living as an American opera singer in Germany, Daddy has gotten multiple thousands of questions from people wanting to know what it's like to be an American opera singer in Germany. So, finally, modern technology has given him the perfect tool for answering these questions all in one fell swoop. Over the years, his operatic adventures have ranged from watching a fellow singer getting her toes cut off, to performing in truly beautiful productions of shows such as Aida, Don Giovanni, Zauberflöte, La Bohème, and My Fair Lady, among dozens of others.

His blog is brand-new, but I'm sure if you ask, he'll be more than happy to regale you with some of the more eye-popping tales of life in the operatic theater. :o)

You'll find links to both these new blogs here.

blah :-P

Hi friends. Just a momentary gripe:

I'm sick of getting sick with these stupid sore-throat-turn-into-sinus-infections. I just wanna say I'M REALLY TIRED OF IT, because I keep getting them, no matter how many positive changes I make to my exercising schedule and eating habits!

What's the point of eating right, eating all this healthy stuff that doesn't taste nearly as good as the unhealthy stuff, WHEN THE HEALTHY STUFF DOESN'T EVEN KEEP ME HEALTHY?!?!??!?!??????????

These are rhetorical questions. I just needed to vent some frustration. I feel slightly better now. Thank you.

Blech.