future challenge to myself

What if...

What if we--as humans and as believers in a King ever so much greater than ourselves--what if we held as self-evident that (our) children have more to teach us about God than we could ever teach them?

What would happen if we approached children this way? And parenting? And life?

the grocery store saga continues

"Oh, no," you think. "Not again!"

But yea verily, Gentle Reader, I have yet another grocery store incident with which to while away your time. HOWEVER.......drumroll, please..........this one is neither an angry incident nor a cultural frustration! Can I get a hallelujah on that one? Yes, yes, I believe I can. ;o)

So, here's what happened: I grabbed a can of catfood off the shelf at Wal-Mart (yes, Wal-Mart--I'm doing some comparison shopping this month). The can was busted, it leaked on my hand and my shirt, and since it apparently got busted long enough back for decomposition to set in, I drove home yesterday afternoon smelling like fish bait. ("Shark bait! Ooh-ha-ha!")

Joy o joy o joy.

And yet, in spite of the not-so-happiness of this episode, I didn't allow it to dampen my mood...mainly because of the cashier who chatted with me as she checked my groceries.

She was an odd lady. I hardly even remember what she chattered on about, but she did chatter on pretty much non-stop as she worked. I chattered back to her, and it was nice. And then, quite randomly, she said,

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but...do you have Native American heritage?"

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. If you've met me once--or if you've taken a glance at my picture over there on the left somewhere--you've seen for yourself that I'm about as non-Native-American-looking as a white girl can get. That being the case, no stranger has ever before asked me if I have Native American heritage. For obvious reasons, it simply would never occur to anyone.

Nevertheless, as I told the cashier, I do have Cherokee blood from my paternal grandmother's side of the family. We can't prove it, and I don't even know how far back it goes. I'm not sure Grandma even knows. (Aunts and/or cousins, correct me if I'm wrong.) I think it would be neat to find out for sure--maybe through the new DNA test that people have started using over the last few years. I doubt anyone would let me take the test for free, though, and at this point I have no desire to pay for it. ;o)

Anyway, I felt amused that the cashier would ask me that question--and pleased that I could answer in the affirmative. I have no clue why she asked, but it was nifty that she did.

Tune in next time for the continuation of "Grocery Store Adventures: Taking Back the Coffee I Bought Because It's Whole Beans And We Don't Have A Grinder." ;oD

ich denk an euch

Hallo ihr Lieben!

Ich hatte dies eigentlich gestern Abend geschrieben, aber Gesichtsbuch hat's irgendwie von alleine gelöscht. Naja, mal sehen ob' diesmal klappt....und ausserdem trifft's heute genauso zu wie gestern! ;o)

Ich sitze hier und geniesse den schönen Anblick unserer Weihnachtsdeko. Ed und ich haben gestern schon gescmückt, aber soeben hat er den letzten Schwibbogen aufgestellt. "We have hübsche Lichter!" sagte ich. ;o) In einem gestrigen "status update" hab ich erzählt, dass wir unsere Weihnachtsdeko das letzte Mal vor zwei Jahren sehen durften--denn letztes Jahr blieb alles eingepackt vom Umzug. Ich denke daran, dass wir diese schönen Sachen--und das meiste stammt aus'm Erzgebirge!--das letzte Mal zusammen mit euch geniessen durften.

Ich wollte euch also nur mitteilen, dass ich an euch denke. Ich weiss, ich hab im letzten Jahr schrecklich wenig von mir hören lassen. Aber trotzdem denke ich täglich an euch, vermisse euch, und habe euch alle sehr, sehr lieb!

Eure Courtney :o)

important kilometerstone

Ten years ago right now, Ed and I were sitting in Chili's (for my German readers: it's a sort of Tex-Mex restaurant), eating supper. We had just left our wedding reception and gone to our hotel, only to realize that we'd had nothing to eat but cake and punch since lunch. (It would be years, however, before we realized that we were poets and didn't know it.) Figuring that the rest of the, er, evening would go better if we had something to eat, we took refuge at Chili's--Ed in his tux, I in my blue evening gown.

It's weird to think that we've been married ten years. I don't feel old enough to have been married ten years! I remember being a teen and thinking that people who'd been married this long seemed really old--not in a decrepit sense, but so much wiser and more sophisticated than I.

I guess I don't feel wise or sophisticated enough to have been married ten years.

Whatever that means. ;o)

It hasn't been ten years of so-called "wedded bliss." I don't believe such a thing exists. We've had our troubles, our infuriatings, our upsets, our hair-rip-outs. There've been times neither of us was happy.

Such is marriage.

Is it worth it?

Beyond doubt, it is.

Last Sunday, Rob preached a sermon about marriage, and he said something that I think might be the most significant statement about human relationships I have ever heard:

God designed marriage not so much to make us happy as to make us holy.

Marriage has taught Ed and me patience, self-sacrifice, respect, mercy, compassion, honor, courage, exhilaration, commitment. Perhaps we could have learned these elsewhere--and perhaps not. Perhaps God knew that we needed each other and our shared experiences in order to learn these things.

And there's more to learn. There are more *new* things to learn (especially if/when we have kids!). We're not finished--we've barely scratched the surface, chipped the tip of the iceberg, shaved the top layer off the cliche. ;o)

Ten years is but a small step (my grandparents celebrated 68 this August!). I hope and pray that God will bless us with at least ten more years of life, so that we can take another step. Another ten after that, another step. I'm thankful that Ed will be at my side for as many steps as God wants us to take.

I love you, honey!

one of the reasons i like living on the north american continent

Ed and I now live within easy driving distance of both sets of parents.

This means that the six of us can get together. Tonight, we did just that, as Ed's folks are in town for the weekend. I know I've mentioned before how much I am enjoying being around family...

...but have I mentioned before how much I am enjoying being around family? ;o)

It's just neat to sit in my parents' living room, look around, and see my parents and his parents, chatting together, laughing together, and getting to know each other better. They've been a part of each other's lives for ten years. I feel all cozy and pleased to think that they're finally able to spend time together, and Ed and I can be part of that and get to know our parents as they relate to each other.

My grandparents never really had that. My grandmas corresponded with each other for forty years, but the four of them never got together simply for the pleasure of getting to know one another. I'm very thankful that in this next generation, my parents and Ed's are taking a different path--and a more heart-oriented one, I believe.

Culture shock and missing Germany aside...this is nice.

a few items of randomness

The title says it. No further introduction.

--Tonight, Ed and I dropped by Buy-For-Less (not Best Buy! I'm getting it right this time!) after our dinner date. We strayed into the international foods aisle and pored over some of the items. This time, I didn't cry! And we bought Spätzle (Swabian egg noodles)!

--This week, I spent two days babysitting the Antwines' great-grandson, Ethan, since Clyde had surgery on Tuesday and Queenie couldn't take care of husband and toddler at the same time. (Imagine that!) Let me preface my following remarks with this: Ethan is adorable; an incurable flirt; and the best-behaved one-year-old I have ever met. The second day, he didn't feel well, and even then, he was still easier to take care of than nine out of ten other kids. He and I had great fun together, and when he came to me and wanted to be cuddled....well, to say my insides melted would be an understatement.

However, I also must say that I'm thankful that babies come in much smaller, less mobile packages at first. Going from no-kid straight to take-care-of-toddler absolutely wore me out. I can't remember when I was last as tired as I was at the end of those two days. And the fact that he needed my near-constant attention...well, I'll put it this way: I wouldn't be able to be a writer and take care of a baby at the same time. It just wouldn't happen.

So, for now, I am perfectly content to be the writer. Nothing against anybody or anybody's babies. It's not you, it's not them, it's me. So many of my friends and family have had babies over the last few weeks, this subject has been on my mind quite bit. My conclusion is that I am wholly selfish in this: I'm not willing to give up my time and energy for a child right now. That being the case, I have no business having one, and I currently have no problem with being selfish in this way. Yes, I would like to have a baby at some point...but not now.

Just in case anybody was wondering. ;o) Maybe this will forestall any comments such as, "Courtney, you need to have a baby." I haven't heard a lot of those since the miscarriage (thankfully, people do have a sense of tact!), but the number of such comments has been increasing of late. It hasn't gotten to the point of severe irritation yet...but I have found myself replying mentally with fairly snarky remarks that I'm not going to repeat here.

I didn't want this to turn into a baby-thoughts post, so that's all I'm gonna say about that for now.

--By the way, I whacked my head on the corner of the bathroom cabinet almost two weeks ago. The huge knot has disappeared, but it still hurts a little. I don't think I've ever hit my head that hard before. I actually saw spots, went to my knees, and thought I might pass out on the edge of the tub and probably hit my head a second time. Thankfully, that didn't happen, and I didn't even throw up (in which case I would definitely have passed out), but still.... God knew what he was doing when he designed that skull, lemme tell ya.

--Our email didn't work properly for a month, and I am still catching up on the piled-up inbox. There were over 250 emails to sort! I narrowed the must-answer ones down to about 70, and I'm slowly working my way through them. I'm down to 23. Of course, that's not counting the ones that have come in since I started sorting.

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, I am seriously tempted to boycott email and tell everyone that if they want me to write them, they'd better send something through snail mail, 'cause I ain't doin' this no more. I am tempted, mind you. I'm still resisting.

(Resistance is futile; I will be assimilated? Hmmm....)

Okay, enough with the random. Ich gehe jetzt ins Bett, und damit basta!

(English-only speakers, make of that last what you will, but I truly didn't say anything indelicate!) ;oD

elvis is my friend

So, in Matt's livingroom is a life-size cardboard cut-out of Elvis. The King and I have spent a lot of time together lately, since Ed takes the car to work every day and there's no bus. I've asked him (Elvis, in this case, not Ed; although I occasionally ask Ed, too) to sing for me, but so far, he has not deigned to oblige.

Anyway, that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this to announce that, in case you haven't heard, Ed and I have an apartment! We got the keys on Thursday, and my parents helped us move in the few items of furniture we stored at my grandparents' six years ago. We're not actually living there yet, because we first had to get the electricity turned on, and then we went to Ed's family reunion over the weekend, so it hasn't been feasible to move over there yet.

Here's a funny thing, though, in case I haven't mentioned it yet (which I can't remember whether or not I did): Our new apartment is in the same apartment complex that we lived in before we moved to Chemnitz! And not only that, but the new apartment is right next door to the old one! It kinda weirded me out to walk into the new one: It's an exact mirror image of the old one. I'll have to be careful not to try going into the neighbor's apartment thinking it's mine. ;o)

Ed's family reunion on Saturday was lots of fun, if a mite overwhelming. There were 80 people there! In my family, it'd be unusual to have half that number. I'm culture-shocking anyway, but I really had to remind myself that being in a crowd wasn't a bad thing and that I didn't need to get upset about it. So I had a good time instead and was glad to be there. Ed's rough biker uncle dressed up as Santa and handed out candy canes to all the kids, and Ed sat on his lap, and much laughter ensued.

And once again, it was very nice to say bye to Ed's folks, to his sister and her kids, and to say 'see you soon' and have it be true. It won't be another two or three years before we see them again, and I am truly thankful for that.

I think we'll continue the moving-in process tomorrow evening, though I don't know yet when we'll move over for good and let Matt have his house back. ;o) It'll be before the end of the week, anyway.

In the meantime, I think I'll try to woo Elvis by buying him a nice string of beads.

P.S. The first time I heard U2's "Mysterious Ways," I was on a bus on a clas trip to Köln. I just thought I'd mention that.

brief update

Hi all,

I've gotten a few emails from some of you who are apparently concerned about my recent lack of posting. *sniff* I didn't know I had such a loyal following! ;o) So here's what's what:

We had one Thanksgiving with Ed's family at his brother's house.
We had one Thanksgiving with my family at my grandparents' house.
(Please note apostrophe usage.) ;o)
Much fun and food and fellowship was had by all.

We looked at rental houses.
None of them seemed right for us. The last one we looked at was totally trashed, and the landlord didn't seem terribly motivated to do anything about it.
We decided we wanted something a bit more secure.
So we went to talk to the manager of the apartment complex where we lived before we moved to Chemnitz.
Bernice, the manager, was thrilled to see us again.
We filled out a rent application and are waiting to hear whether or not we get an apartment.

Ed has filled out multiple job applications and has had multiple come-see-us-after-Thanksgiving conversations with prospective employers.
So, no job yet.
But we're hopeful.

Our shipment is scheduled to arrive in port in Houston Dec. 12th.

We've been reconnecting with lots of family and old friends whom we haven't seen in a long time.
I have really been enjoying this. It's nice to know it won't be another two years before I get to see them again.

I'm also missing my family in Chemnitz.
Ahh, the emotional roller coaster never stops.

I want a place to live, a place with my stuff in it, and the settled feeling I need in order to start writing again.

I also want my paintbrushes and some new paints and canvases. Autumn has ben very inspiring of late.

This is already longer than I intended it to be, so I'm gonna quit now.

P.S. If you haven't seen the movie "Babel," please don't. It's not worth it, Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett notwithstanding.

God is faithful

Well, only a few minutes, and I am already posting something non-moving-related. But for good reason.

Ed and I just got a call that Jim Springer, our dear friend and Christian brother, died just a few minutes ago. We knew this was coming, but it's still a terrible blow. "A terrible blow"--what a terrific understatement. I don't have the right words to describe what's going through my mind and heart right now. But "a terrible blow" is the very least of it.

Jim has been Ed's mentor for 11 years and mine for about 4. In a way, Jim and his wife Elsa have been another set of parents for the two of us. We just saw him in July, when we took part in another of the Springers' ETM classes. God works in amazing ways, because to me, this was the most helpful, challenging, and valuable ETM class I've been in. I feel so privileged and encouraged to have benefited from Jim's teaching one last time.

Early September was the first hint that anything was wrong. Jim was diagnosed with cancer about three weeks ago.

I think maybe that is why this is such a huge shock. Nobody saw this coming. And yet, this is how reality is: None of us have a guarantee of tomorrow. Jim's situation was not unique; that could have been any one of our spouses; it could be any one of us. What a strong reminder this is that each of us needs to be prepared.

Jim was prepared. In her last email, Elsa said he was happy to be going home. He was excited about the next step he would take. Now he has taken it, and in my heart, sadness is accompanied by thanksgiving. For over a week now, since the German churches learned how serious Jim's condition was, we have all been praying that Jim would not suffer. God has answered our prayers in the grandest way possible, by sparing Jim the suffering and by taking him to a perfect place.

Death isn't the worst thing that can happen. We humans usually believe that, but it is a lie. The worst thing that can happen is for a human's life to end before that human has entered into a covenant relationship with God. Jim had that covenant relationship, and now he's home. Even in our grief, we certainly don't begrudge him that.

If you're the kind of person who prays, pray for Elsa. Pray for Jim's daughters, sons-in-law, and grandchildren. Pray for the family and friends who are still here. Pray for the German churches, who have been blessed through Jim for more than 30 years. Pray for us, because we miss him.

destroyed for lack of knowledge

When my parents left the European shores for the Americas, they also left behind a copy of the magazine Gospel Advocate (GA). So I picked it up and read it. Just for the record, this was the first GA I've ever really perused, and I have discovered that I do not agree 100% with what the magazine presented in this particular issue (see issue # below). Or perhaps it's better to say that I don't agree 100% with the methods and the attitudes reflected in some of the authors' writings.

That said, however, I found the following to be accurate, illuminating, and disturbing. The trends which Renfroe (see below) presents in his article are realities of which the church today needs to take note. If we don't, we're in for some rather nasty surprises in the very near future.

"...I can't help wondering, in the midst of the current [technological] craze, if any room is left for God. Do the movers and shakers of the technological revolution have any place for a 2,000-year-old book? Indeed, does anyone even read anymore? In our quest to gain academic prowess through tech savvy, have we failed to instruct regarding the most important knowledge our children will ever need to acquire--the knowledge they need to save their souls (John 8:32; 1. Timothy 2:4)?"

"Parents naturally want their children to succeed, obtain advanced degrees, and secure high-paying jobs believed to ensure not only financial security but also the ever-elusive happiness that evades so many...

"During Old Testament days, parents were to teach their children about God and His marvelous works at every available opportunity (Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19). Today, some parents are asleep at the proverbial wheel. We clamor for our kids to be in the best schools and taught by highly qualifed professionals. We expect them to play sports--the big three, at least--and would not think of their missing practice. (They might get a scholarship, you know.) But are we failing them where they need us most?

"If we could muster the same enthusiasm toward our children's spiritual education that we do for their secular activities, it would be far less likelly we would see a generation that, in many quarters, is 'destroyed for lack of knowledge' (Hosea 4:6 ASV)..."

--Brandon Renfroe
"21st Century Kids Are Wired"
Gospel Advocate, June 2007, Vol CXLIX, No. 6


Some of my thoughts as I read this:

Why is it so important to us that our children Get A Good Education?

Do we really believe that it's more important for our children to become Christians than it is for them to Get A Good Education?

Are we teaching our children to spend at least as much time studying the holy words of God as they spend studying textbooks written by humans?

We hear kids say, "When I grow up, I wanna be a teacher/rock star/fireman/astronaut/vet/police officer/etc."
We encourage them in these dreams. And rightfully so.
But how much encouragement do we give them in developing a dream that when they grow up, they "wanna be a faithful servant of God"?

I've never heard a kid say, "When I grow up, I wanna be what God wants me to be."
Why is that?

Are we studying the Bible with our kids and worshiping God with them at home? Every day?
Or are we leaving that part up to the "Sunday school teachers"?

When did Sunday morning Bible Class replace parental responsibility?

Renfroe says that we make sure our kids never miss sports practice.
Are we making sure they are present every time the church assembles to worship God?

Are we ourselves present every time our Christian family is together for worship?

Or are we ourselves skipping worship because this or that activity "is only this one time," which just "happens to be" during worship time?

Are we ourselves skipping worship in favor of attending secular activities?

Are we teaching our children to "go to church" because that means they're being good?

Or are we teaching them to be the church because being the church is the only scriptural concept? (After all, where in the Bible do you find the concept of "going to" church?)

Where are our own priorities? Yours and mine?

Is God truly the center of our lives?
The apex?
The only constant reality?

Or are we lying to ourselves?
And are we raising our children on a diet of these holy-seeming lies?

Are we teaching our kids, by our example, that God's word, the Bible, is not binding?


What do you think?

reality is setting in

On Wednesday, my parents boarded their flight from Frankfurt to the U.S. I think I still haven't quite started to process that they have moved to Oklahoma. To them, Germany is home. To *me* Germany is their home, too. That new house that they build is gonna have a pretty solid German cornerstone to live up to.

Another bit of unpleasant reality..... On Wednesday, Ed and I let our landlady know that we are moving out by October 31st. She was really upset to hear this, and I thought she was going to cry. Which made me almost cry. And we haven't even been close to her, though I'd describe our "professional" relationship as a good one. It was still a sad moment, and all three of us agreed that there was no "good" time to break this news. At least she understood our reasons for leaving.

But telling her that we're moving...it's just one more step toward making it all seem real.

And I don't like it. I don't want to think about it.

___________________________________

*Addendum: Ed and I have been watching a lot of "Quantum Leap" online lately. At another time, perhaps I'll blog about how much I love this show and how I wish they'd make a movie of it or something. Anyway, I've been trying to figure out why my non-TV-loving self has been wanting to veg out in front of the tube so much recently.

And I think I've figured it out: I'm watching because I'm avoiding. I'm watching because I don't want to think.

ruminations of the sleep-deprived

As I write, it is Saturday morning, 5:04 a.m. Even if you don't know me well, you probably do know that I am rarely awake this early in the day. Even as a new intrepid jogger, I do not get up this early. Just on general principle. Please note that this is 'principle' not 'principal.'

Anyway...so there I was, fast asleep and minding my own business, when I suddenly realized that I was wide awake. Instead of fighting it like I usually do, I decided to give in and get up.

Hear that wailing? That's night owls everywhere screaming, "Noooooooooooooooo!"

;o)

So here I am, blogging just after five in the morning. And rather slowly, too, as I'm sitting at Ed's desk, using his Mac and his Mac keyboard. (Would that be a MacKeyboard?) Just for the record, I love the Mac, but I hate its keyboard. I have to pound each key with something like vehement fury in order to get it to produce anything. I fIjust tyoe the wayI usually do, i get something like this. Oh,a nd didi mention that the keys are space somewhtdifferently than on my laptop?

In case you haven't already noticed, I have no particular reason for blogging at this time. Meaning, I have no particular subject in mind. I am simply awake at 5 a.m. and needed something to do but didn't feel like doing anything that actually needs to be done. Besides, it's Saturday.

I have a zit on my chin, and it hurts. When I was a teenager, I thought that adulthood was supposed to be free of such things. (Zits, that is, not chins.) Well into adulthood now, I have discovered, to my dismay and disappointment, that this is not the case. I feel somewhat hoodwinked by this.

My parents, who are living with us for the month of July, are currently in Greece. Part of their trip is a cruise, and I guess they must be on it now, because yesterday evening, Mama called and left a voicemail: "Hi, we just wanted to call and let you know that we're having fun," etc. I was amused, even through my envy. ;o)

Although I suppose that I shouldn't be too envious......considering that I get to go to Scotland in less than a month! Wahooooooo!!!! I am so excited about this! We were supposed to go with Clint and April when they went last year, but it didn't work out. So Ed gave me this Scotland trip as my Christmas present. Brief and very vague itinerary: One day in London/Corby with our friend Patrick; one day of fellwalking with Patrick in the Lake District (and maybe with Kevin, too???); then head to the Dundee area and see Dundee, Stirling, Edinburgh, St. Andrews, Glasgow?, and hopefully drive to the highlands for a day. And we hope to see our friends Tristan and Leslie in Stirling! I have no clue if this is all possible in a 9-day trip (5-day, if you don't count London/Lake District/travel), but that's our current inkling of a conceptual hypothesis. I haven't had the time or the brains, so far, to study all the travel materials we've collected and look into specifics. However, Ed and I are going to sit down together sometime this coming week and figure it all out, so I'll keep you posted.

Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy, we're going to Scotland!!!!!!

Oh yeah, speaking of voicemail messages... Over the last month or so, Ed and I have received two phone calls to our Skype number in the middle of the night. Both times, neither of us woke up in time to get to the phone--although we *were* woken up--so both calls left messages:

Call #1: 4 a.m. Rustling, music somewhere in the background, then talking as though from a distance. No words distinguishable. More rustling. Then, a new voice talking, but this one sounds like a toy. And it sounds like several toys talking at once, overlapping each other: "I need a hug!" "What are we going to do today?" "(something-something-indistinguishable) hooray!" "I need a hug!" "What are we going to do today?" "(something-something-indistinguishable) hooray!" "I need a hug!" And so forth. More rustling. Then the toy voices start up again. The voicemail message continues in this vein for five minutes before stopping abruptly.

Call #2: 1 a.m. Rustling. Talking in the background. A kid's voice (real, not a toy), or maybe a toddler's. More rustling. An adult's voice, words indistinguishable. Then the adult says what sounds like "No, no, no!" More rustling. End.

Ed and I can't figure out who in the world is leaving these weird messages! The voicemails sound as though the person didn't know they had called, like they'd accidentally dialed the number or something. It's gotta be someone we know, but we can't figure out who it could be. Both times, the computer has been off (which is why our regular phone rang), so we haven't been able to see the number that was calling. It's just all very weird.

The first message reminds me of the time Ed and I (before we were married) used his talking Alf toy to leave a message on my roommate Tamara's voicemail, and she thought she was getting an obscene phone call. ;o)

Okay, it's now 5:45, and I think that's enough for one blopgost. If you read all of this ramblingness, you get a cookie. Enjoy.

Me, I'm gonna give the keyboard a rest from my vehement fury.

Q & A

Q & A Procedure:

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.

2. I respond by asking you five personal questions (in response to your comment, so check back!) so I can get to know you better.

3. You WILL update your LJ (aka blog) with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.

5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.


My answers to Patricia's Qs:

1. If you were to have the chance to adopt a sibling, would you pick a brother or a sister?

Oooh, that's a hard one! I've always liked the idea of having a big brother to stick up for me, and there have been a couple of guys in my life who have been like brothers.... Not to mention most of my guy cousins who are definitely like my brothers....and girl cousins who are like sisters......and girl friends who are definitely like sisters..... As you can see, I definitely have trouble pinning myself down to a concise answer here! I guess I'd probably have to choose a sister, just for all the late-night girltalk. ;o)

2. What is your favorite memory of us from college?

Do I have to pick just one?!?!??!!!? ;o) Okay, here goes, in random order:

(a) All the time we spent in Honors together. You made it fun and interesting and lively during the times my attention started to drift. All the craziness we had together just really made that time something special to me!
(b) The note you wrote me at the end of our freshman year, in which you told me how much you appreciated my friendship. At the time, I had no idea that my friendship meant so much to you, and it was good to hear that in spite of all my difficulties that year, you still liked me and accepted me.
(c) Doing artsy stuff together! I know we didn't get to sit down and draw together as much as both of us wanted to, but at least we had a few times of getting to do stuff as "art buddies."
(d) Getting to go home with you at the end of freshman year. As an only child, I was pleasantly amazed at how such a large family could actually work! ;o) You all made me feel more welcome than I thought I had a right to be. Even though I wasn't there very long, it's a time I'll never forget. (Don't tell Bec and Bradley this, but I still think of them as being the age they were when I visited!) ;oD
(e) Can we say 'Medieval Fairs'?! :oD

3. What book heroine do you relate to the most?

You do know how to ask the tough ones, don't you. ;o) Okay, the one I think of off the top of my head is Kit from "The Witch of Blackbird Pond" by Elizabeth George Speare. Kit grows up in Barbados and moves to Puritan New England to live with her conservative aunt and uncle. The book chronicles her adjustment from one culture to another. She even seeks out the other 'misfits' in Puritan society to try to find her niche. Classic TCK behavior! Since that has basically been the story of my life, I can relate to Kit quite well, even though the book is written for a young reading level. (I've read this book every few years since I was 9 or 10.)

4. What Honors quote will stick in your memory forever?

Again, it's impossible to choose just one!

"Don't ask stupid questions!"
"She was all bust absent from history."
"Moses' Little Bake Shop."
"Nietzsche is bad for you anyway. Nietzsche will rot your teeth."
The essence of scarfness.
Dead Peasants Aren't Much Fun.
"Did I date your mother?"

Hmm...I might just have to do an all-Honors blopgost! ;oD

5. What is the funniest thing you've heard or read recently?

(a) Three-year-old Velony telling her parents in all seriousness: "Ich hab' geschwitzt wie Sau!" ("I was sweating like a hog!")
(b) Once again, I amused myself by watching the guy who webcammed himself dancing to "Dragostea Din Tei". In my opinion, this is one of the greatest videos ever made.
(c)Honors quotes. ;o)

my parents are leaving europe

So, the Big Move is finally taking place. Last week, the military sent movers to my parents' house in Mörfelden. They arrived on Monday, packed for two days, and took the containers away on Wednesday. Mama and Daddy stayed in the house a few more days; then, the owner told them that he would like them to leave *now* in exchange for not having to clean and paint the entire house over the course of the next week. So, though this initially caused them quite a bit of extra stress, they went earlier than planned to the home of a friend in the Wiesbaden church. They will stay there until this coming Monday, when they plan to travel to Chemnitz and live with us for the next month, minus a 10-day trip to Greece.

I have to say, I don't think the magnitude of it all has hit me yet. Since I didn't see the move take place, my brain is still telling me that the Mörfelden house is still as full of their possessions as it has been for the last ten years. I feel like I usually do at this time of year: My parents will go to Oklahoma for the summer and then come back to Germany to start the new school year / opera season. I feel this, even as I know it's not true. Possibly, my feelings won't catch up to my knowledge until fall rolls around and my parents are *still* in Oklahoma, without return tickets.

Hence, I haven't really started to be sad yet about their move. A little, but the rest of the mourners are still waiting in the wings, I suspect.

Mama and Daddy have lived in Germany for 27 1/2 years. Originally, they only intended to stay for five! Recently, as I hadn't heard this story yet, I asked Mama how they made the decision to stay past the 5-year mark. She told told me the following, to me highly amusing, anecdote:

When we had lived in Germany about 3 years (so this was sometime in 1983), the three of us were at the Woog, a small lake in Darmstadt. Mama and Daddy were watching me play, when Daddy suddenly turned to Mama and asked, "If we were to leave Germany now, what would you miss the most?"

Mama thought for a minute and then answered, "The Autobahn."

Daddy nodded and said, "I'd miss that, too."

And until retirement came around, that's the last time they ever talked about moving. ;oD

On a more serious note, I'm concerned about how they'll adjust once they're back in Oklahoma past the "vacation-period" time span. Twenty-seven years is a long time. Germany is their home. They are not "coming home" to Oklahoma; they are moving to a foreign country. (The same applies to Ed and me regarding our move in November, but that's another post and shall be blogged another time.) Mama used the right word when she described leaving Germany and leaving their jobs as "bittersweet." I imagine that their arrival in and adjustment to Oklahoma will be much the same.

to talk or not to talk--and i usually forget the "not"

Here's something I found online last year. It's been knocking around in the drafts section of my blog for too long, so I decided to post it today. Sorry if the link doesn't work anymore.

The Talkative Woman
by Sandy Fiedler

Chatter chatter chatter.

Trivial statements lacking significance. Chatter chatter some more. I stare straight ahead at the two-lane Texas highway hemmed in on both sides by sky-scraping pines. Three hours there and three hours back from our day trip. I want to think my private thoughts. I am tired. If I stay politely subdued, maybe she'll take the hint, I thought. But it was not to be. The quieter I grew, the more she talked. Then it hit me like a blow to the head - this is exactly what I do to my husband. How many times have he and I driven along with today's roles reversed? Oh, Lord, he's been sitting there annoyed, wishing I would shut up. I wish I had shut up! The Holy Spirit convicted me. I repent, Lord, of selfishness and insensitivity with my words, and I want You to change me.

"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." (Psalm 141: 3 NIV)
Every drive, however, with my husband isn't that miserable; many times we have stimulating, profound discussions sparked by a topic introduced from somewhere, something he has just read, we have heard on the news, or discovered about life.

What are some differences between men and women in the area of talking?

Women like to talk. It is a sociological fact that American women have an emotional, mental, even physical NEED to speak several more thousand words per day than men do. Why God made us that way, I don't know. Toward the end of a perfectly good day of conversationless solitude, I will spontaneously begin talking aloud to myself and I didn't even know I was about to speak until the sound of my own voice startled me. Women, more verbal than men, use both sides of their brain for most activities and can process many subjects at once - dinner plans, the child's poison ivy, the car making a funny noise, the latest scandal in government, those suffering religious persecution in China, the success (or usually failure) of the latest diet, the pressure to perform at work, the need to reapply moisturizer to her lips, and on and on, all at once.

Men are not so. They most often use only their left brain, the logical half, approaching subjects one at a time. How novel! How boring! And have you ever noticed that men speak to each other in numbers? The hard drive has 5 million gigs. The deck posts are 4 by 4s. The airplane he used to fly was a 172 or a 182. My husband is a '49 Ford sedan, slow, steady, reliable, who will get from Point A to Point B, while I am like a hummingbird that darts so fast from flower to flower that you don't know it is there until it hums away.

What men don't like:
Too many words
A know-it-all wife or being overtly taught by a woman
Bad timing; e.g., hit with a list of problems as soon as he comes home after work
Excessive questioning, nagging, belittling, mothering
References to what another man does or thinks

What men do like:
Good timing. Of course, you often must bring up the business of living when it occurs, but sometimes you can make an appointment to discuss an important topic when you both can fully tune in.
Peace and quiet
Stimulating, intelligent discussion; a woman with mystery
Interest in and understanding of him and what concerns him
Respect, admiration, and love

How can a wife use her nature to complement and edify her husband?
First of all, generously spend some of those thousands of necessary words on other women.
If you listen to women in a office setting, what do they talk about?
Diets, recipes, relationships, husbands, kids, health, shopping, feelings. Do you ever hear men talking in the office or on the phone about the minute details of making refrigerator strawberry pie? Women in a group feed on these subjects both because of their need to talk about them and because they instinctively know that their husbands don't really want to listen to them. Because I do not have biological sisters, through the stages of my life, I have sought and been blessed with women friends. When my three children were babies, I NEEDED to talk with women about the unfolding mothering topics I was experiencing from breast-feeding to balancing housework with family's demands.

One friend and I talk about spiritual matters, current events, history, business. In fact, we jot down little notes to ourselves about topics we need to mention when we get together. Once the topics are addressed, with a sense of relief we toss the scribbled notes away like the used grocery list.

Another friend and I talk about a mutual work situation. When my 20-year-old daughter and I get together, we both spew out many happy words like sparks from a fireworks display. We have a blast.

Be willing to keep quiet. It is so hard sometimes, like an alcoholic trying to keep from grabbing that drink. I am a morning chatterer and I have to make myself get busy doing something to prevent my mouth from starting up on a long soliloquy to my husband.

1 Peter 3 1(b) reads, "if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussions but by the [godly] lives of their wives."
(Amplified) This clearly says that conduct is more effective than words in presenting Christianity to a husband.

...Read your husband like a book - his face, his body language, between the lines of his sentences. He is fascinating subject matter. Pray for an open door to a topic that you want to discuss. Like Esther (Esther 4:16), difficult issues may require that we fast, pray, and prepare a time to meet our husband-king.

These guidelines work well, you might remark, if the husband is a godly man, but what if the husband doesn't give God preeminence in his life? Even so, from past experience (years ago my life shipwrecked in divorce and God has blessed me now with a godly husband), I can counter that question with this challenge: name a place besides Esther's position of prayerful humility that can be safer and yield results more pleasing to God. Where else can God work out a woman's true liberty and fulfillment?

After the eye-opening car ride with my chatty friend, I decided that my next long drive with my husband would be special. I would be pleasant, attentive, and, above all, quiet. After about fifteen minutes of quiet, he had settled in and gathered his thoughts. He said, "You know the book I am reading about the scripture in Matthew?" And thus began a satisfying, deep discussion that melted us together even more in mind and spirit. In the right atmosphere, a man's wisdom, character, personality, and thoughts naturally drift out. The woman must help create that atmosphere. And when she speaks in turn, her words will find a welcome lodging in her husband.

"In like manner you married women, be submissive to your own husbands - subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them. So that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband. That is, you are to feel for him all that reverence includes] - to respect, defer to, revere him; [revere means] to honor, esteem (appreciate, prize), and [in the human sense] adore him; [and adore means] to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love and enjoy [your husband]." I Peter 3:1-2 The Amplified Bible

the last few days

Well, I know I threatened to flood my blog with posts this week, considering that I'm sick at home.....but I got involved in something really cool: ancestry.com. I've long held a strong fascination for genealogy, and I'm blessed that both of my grandmothers collected oodles of information on family lines. I have some of the info in my own files, so I began entering it into an online family tree at ancestry.com. It took several days, which is why I'm just now getting back to my blog.

It's amazing what you can find to do when you can't go anywhere or see anybody, for fear of spreading contamination. ;o)

What's cool about this is that as I enter new names with birth and death dates, the system starts searching the database to see if that individual is already in the system. For instance, I entered my own name and birth date, and the system informed me that someone had already entered me into the database! Now, because I have a free account instead of a paid one, I can't see *who* entered my name....I can only see the name itself. Same with the names of my parents and grandparents. There are a couple of spelling errors in several of our names, so I know that whoever entered our names isn't someone we're close to....but I'm figuring it's a relative, probably someone's cousin on my Grandma Weger's side of the family. But of course I'm only guessing.

Anyway...I entered all the information that I had: all the way back to William Parker (died ca. 1677) and his wife Katherine, whose maiden name my family doesn't know. Now here's the really cool part: Someone already has that entire family line in the database.

And not only that, but they say that Katherine's maiden name was Warham. And *they* can trace her back to an ancestor named John Barber...who was born in 1435!!!

How cool is that?! If this information is correct, that means I can trace my family back to 1435! That's before Shakespeare! That's before Columbus!

I talked to my mom about all this, and she reminded me that she also got involved in ancestry.com a few years ago (but because of the misspelled names, we concluded that she is not the mystery family member who entered all of us into the database). She laughingly said that when she was doing all of that, the scriptural warning against "meaningless genealogies" kept running through her head. ;o)

But she has a point. In reality, all this genealogy stuff *is* meaningless. It's one of my hobbies, but I would never claim that it's of lasting significance. Perhaps it's only interesting to me, personally, because I grew up on the continent where my ancestors came from, and because as a Third Culture Kid, I'm so rootless on this planet. This begs further analysis, but I don't have the mental energy for it now. Draw your own psychological conclusions about me. *grin*

Anyway...ich bin einfach sehr mitgenommen with the whole family tree thing. Sorry for the German, but I can't think of a better way to say it right now. Mama and I intend to continue the research adventure that her mother, Thaylia Boxley, started us on (my Grandma was actually quite the accomplished genealogist), and I intend to delve more deeply into this Warham-Barber-1435 connection on my Weger side. Of course, *when* I will do this, I have no idea. This part will require paying a membership fee to ancestry.com and researching census and parish records and so forth. Mama, at least, knows when she'll be getting into it: after she retires this summer! And when she's back in Oklahoma, she can also start looking through all of Grandma's records, which are in storage now.

As for me...I just hope I don't have to wait till retirement to continue my research. ;o)

parental and personal health update

 
When I talked to my mom Wednesday night, she had an interesting tale to tell about her visit to the doctor that morning. The doctor did remove her appendix, and he did remove a cyst......but, strangely enough, the cyst was nowhere near her appendix. Instead, it was in the left side of her abdomen. This was exploratory surgery, otherwise they wouldn't even have known that the cyst was there. The pain around her appendix had nothing to do wih a cyst or with her appendix (which he removed as a precaution); instead, that pain was being caused by adhesions (stringy tissue that formed as the result of a past infection nobody knew about). So he removed the adhesions, too.

Mama is at home recovering, still in some pain but at least able to get up and move around a little. Barring possibility of infection, it looks like she's going to be fine. I am relieved, to say the least. The cyst and adhesions are going to be biopsied, but the doctor doesn't seem to think that there will be anything malignant to deal with.

I am continually amazed at God: his creativity in designing the human body, and his constant care for us as we navigate these fragile bodies through all the physical dangers this world has to offer. I'm convinced that it's really only by God's providence that any of us survive at all.

And since our bodies are part of this fallen creation, we do have to deal with these frailties on a daily basis. I refer you to the following schematic, the original of which was drawn yesterday by the ear-nose-throat specialist who was illustrating to me one of the particular frailties of my particular body: 

 

Though the fact of my deviated septum was not new to me, I did appreciate the doctor's efforts to show me just what's going on in my nose up there. For further illumnation on the subject (no pun intended), she wants me to get my sinuses X-rayed and take allergy tests again. I don't know what this is supposed to prove, since we already did the X-raying and the allergy testing three years ago, but.....I am meekly submitting, as I frankly no longer have the willpower to think for myself on the matter. I think it's due to lack of oxygen, since I can't breathe properly at all. There must be millions of my brain cells dying as I type/you read. (I can't use the phrase "as we speak," because, technically, we're not speaking.) 

I am frustrated, irritated, mad at the world for no good reason at all, and working really really hard on the inside not to start throwing myself a pity party. I'm well aware that there are those in this world who suffer a great deal more than I am suffering, and that I should be grateful for and content with the blessed state in which I currently exist. 

But it's awfully hard, sometimes, to be grateful and content when you can't even breathe right. *sigh* 

This will be my last post of this nature. I'm tired of complaining and hoping for sympathy from various corners. If I vent anymore, I will vent to myself and have done with it.

my mama's health, my health, and other odds 'n' ends

 
I talked to my dad a few minutes ago, and everything with Mama's surgery went fine. Thanks to God! After surgery, they had to give her a bit more pain medication than expected, but that's not outside the realm of normal. She's home now and sleeping. Tomorrow morning, she and Daddy will go back to the doctor, and he'll hopefully be able to tell them more about the cyst. My hearfelt thanks to those of you who prayed for my parents and for the doctors. God has it all in his hands, and that's a great comfort and encouragement to me. We would all be so worried if not for him! Anyway, thanks to those of you who've been supporting my parents in prayer. 

Over the weekend, I'd considered heading over to my parents' place yesterday, in order to be there for the surgery today. Now I'm glad I didn't do it. The last thing my recovering mother needs is a sick person in the house. Yep, that'd be me. 

Gunk in my head, my throat feels like I've been gargling gravel, and my body aches with exhaustion of the kind you get from running a marathon. It always amazes me that there are people who can get a sinus infection and yet still manage to go to work (even though they *should* be in bed). If I weren't in what is basically a self-employment job, I would've gotten fired a long time ago. I was up and around for three hours yesterday, taking the bus to the doctor and pharmacy, then back home again. I barely have the words to describe the misery. Even sitting in the doctor's waiting room, I started getting dizzy. Sit at a desk or stand up and teach all day? Forget it. 

No antibiotics this time, though. The doctor said it's too soon since the last time. I tend to agree.....but I have my doubts about getting rid of this any other way. She's also sending me to an ear-nose-throat specialist tomorrow, for an ultrasound on my sinuses. Yippee. 

This is so annoying. And so uninteresting to read about, I'm sure. Sorry I can't offer anything more fascinating. I *could* write about the news article I read this morning. It described how the Mormons will probably "baptize" the current Roman Catholic pope after his death, because the Mormons "baptize" dead people into Mormonism by proxy. They "baptized" John Paul II by proxy a year after his death. They did the same with Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan. I could write a long article about how silly I think this is. I just don't have the mental energy for it!

prayer requests

 
For those of you who pray to God, I have a few requests that you might help me pass on to him: 

My mom, Kay Weger, will have surgery this coming Tuesday to remove a cyst that is on or around her appendix. They will take out her appendix at the same time. If all goes as planned, the surgery will be relatively brief, and she'll go home Tuesday afternoon/evening. 

Also, my grandfather, Bill Weger, is scheduled for an angiogram on Feb. 12th. His carotid artery is partially blocked (I don't know if it's calcium buildup or cholesterol buildup.), and the angiogram will determine whether the doctors should put in a stent, or open up the artery to scrape out the plaque. Either way, after the angiogram, the next procedure will take place on Feb. 20th, I think. 

Please pray that God will bless the minds and hands of the doctors and nurses working with my mom and my grandpa. Please pray that God's will be done. Nothing more complicated than that. :o) 

Thanks, 

Courtney