Wednesday, May 21, 2008

in which i vent my spleen

So, ever since Ed and I got our Oklahoman cell phones (Handys, to my dear German readers), I have gotten heaps of unsolicited phone calls. Ed doesn't seem to get any at all, so I figure he's been blessed with a phone number that has never before been used in this dimension.

My number, however, seems to have had a previous owner who was either up to the nose in debt and on the lam (not lamb, hee hee ;o) from creditors and/or the Mafia, or simply enjoyed giving out the number to all and sundry so that all and sundry could use the number for the purposes of pointless harassment of The Innocent and Unsuspecting.

Namely, me.

I submitted my number to the National Do Not Call Registry (NDNCR), which is probably a misnomer. National We'd Like To Help You But We're Basically Powerless Would You Like a Teddy Bear? Registry would be more apt. The NDNCR is apparently maintained by the Federal Trade Commission, whose website even states that they cannot resolve individual customer complaints. Whoopee. The number of telemarketer calls has dropped since I registered, I'll give them that... But this does not resolve my problem of receiving about 6 calls a day, for five days in a row, approximately every two weeks, from the company HSBC Mortgage Services.

HSBC Mortgage Services is kinda clueless. Were they clueful, they would realize that I have never owned a house and, therefore, have never had a mortgage. Still, they persist on calling me x times per week (see previously noted statistics) VIA COMPUTER. That's right. Not only are they calling me, but they're using a poor, innocent computer to do their dirty work. The computer is voice activated, so it doesn't start talking until it hears a voice on the line.

Namely, mine.

I no longer answer the phone when I see that the display reads 800-395-3489. Sometimes, the computer stays on the line enough to be kicked over to voicemail, in which case I get a message that begins in the middle of a sentence, informs me ominously that "this is an attempt to collect a debt," and asks me to return the call to the aforementioned 800 number. (I never do, of course.)

HSBC called five times yesterday. Six times today. The day is young, yet.

Occasionally, I also receive calls from NCO Financial Systems at 800-477-1827.

As well as multiple calls from "Unknown," which I believe is HSBC cleverly disguising themselves so as to blend in with the wireless foliage of the modern telemarketing jungle.

Bunch of scaly, evil chameleons.

Personally, I think this should be illegal.

Stupid-kenupid telemarketercreditormortagerulemakers.

Blech.

6 comments:

Alisha said...

Once I had a debt collector come to my apartment looking for the previous tenant. Apparently she owned someone a lot of money. But at least they didn't think I was lying about my identity and break my legs, or something like that. I'm not sure that debt collectors actually do that sort of stuff -- I probably just watch too much tv.

Nicki Perry said...

I've had that happen to me before. You just gotta stay on the line and wait to talk to a real person and then let them know that you just acquired that number, and that you are not who they are looking for. I think legally that HAVE to stop calling you after that. Otherwise it could be called harrassment.

amy nickerson said...

Can you get a new number? Perhaps it'll be better to just give in another go with some fresh digits. Or will your phone company not allow it? Anyway, I liked your new word "telemarketercreditormortagerulemakers". It's like a ridiculously long German word!

Anonymous said...

And here's Allison's 2 bits: (taken from fresh experience--believe me, I am as annoyed as you) tell them to remove your number from their list AND the list they got it from. even if it IS a legitimate telemarketing call for, namely, YOU, you can still ask them to remove the number and they ARE legally required to do so. Aaah the bliss of ALL calls from annoying soliciting strangers coming to an end! (seriously! it works!)

Chelf said...

"Personally I think this should be illegal."

Honestly, it IS illegal!

Federal Fair Debt Collection Practices Act of 1977 (Yep, it's that old) prohibits them from calling you (anyone) many multiple times per day. Also prohibits them from talking to someone about the debt who is not named on the paperwork. Which, as a new owner of this number, you are NOT named on any mortgage paperwork of the previous number owner.

You have to call them back, (Nicki has it right that you must talk to a real Person, possibly a Manager or Supervisor) and tell them that you are NOT the person they are trying to hassle, and that you want their physical address, so you can write them a "Cease and Desist" letter immediately. Look at Dave Ramsey online for examples of such a letter; you can also find one in the back of any number of his books.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT give them any personal information, and if they want proof, send them a name of a lawyer. I know the names of a couple of good firms here in OKC, if you are interested.

thegermanygirl said...

Wow. This post sure did generate a lot of blog traffic. (Blogtraffic? Blogaffic? Blaffic?)

Alisha: Too much TV or no, the breaking-the-legs thing would be my first thought, too, if some random debt collector showed up at my door. Scary!

Nicki: Yeah, I figure I'll have to talk to a real person before I hear the end of this. Right now, I think I'm having more fun griping about it than I would have in actually fixing the problem. ;o) Since I wrote about this, the calls have practically ceased anyway! Maybe they're reading my blog. ;o)

Amy: Aha! You saw through my linguistic code-switching! That's exactly why I made it into such a long word: It just needed Germanifying. ;o)

I've thought about trying to switch numbers, but then I'd have to tell everyone my new number *again*, and some people wouldn't change it in their address books even after I told them, and then they wouldn't be able to reach me, which would be their fault and not mine, but I'd have to hear about it, so it's just easier not to get into all of it. Maybe the next time Ed and I move, in which case the phone number and address change could happen simultaneously, and the chances of people's changing their address books would go up.

?

Allison: You're so right, you're so right. But, as I told Nicki above, I think that for now, I'm having too much fun griping about it; and the calls have dropped off recently, anyway. Maybe reporting them to the Do Not Call List actually does help?!

Chelf: Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it! Not to worry, I would never give them even a shred of personal information. Their calling me is bad enough, but if they're going to call, I'd like them to continue thinking that I'm someone else, so they continue going after *that* person, instead of trumping up some reason to come after *me*!