late evening ruminating instead of sleeping

I just want to say that I had a great day today. It was cold outside, a state of which I don't approve; but there was also precipitatingness in a form we call "snow," which pleases me immensely.

Well....technically, I suppose it was rather more a "dusting" than real snow. Also, there was ice. But still, it turned the world that lovely, faint-bluish white as only snow can do, and it definitely raised several markers on the Courtney-Is-Pleased-O-Meter.

In other news, I spent most of the day writing, which always means a good day! I know, a lot of you find this incomprehensible, but c'est ma vie. ;o) I wrote more than 1300 words today--not NaNoWriMo standards, but then I'm not under NaNo-pressure right now, either.

I am, however, still working on filling in the gaps and fleshing out my NaNo 2008 novel. I give it another 10k words till the first draft is complete. Great fun is being had by all--meaning me, myself, and I. ;o) This particular story has some fantasy elements, but it's set mostly in present day "real world," so I'm enjoying the challenge of aiming my creative telescope in a slightly different direction. Things are still a bit blurry on the other side of the lens, but as I finish draft one, then draft two, then draft three, etc., I have no doubt the sharpen will focus. Focus will sharpen.

I think it's time to lay my weary head to rest...but don't worry, I haven't been crying.

Carry on! ;o)

Getting Things Done, and other importantnesses

So, in the interest of bragging, I'd like to direct your attention here, so that you might ooh-aah over How Much I Have Gotten Done since the recent posting of my to-do list.

Yes, I am tooting my own horn, and I am liking it, thank you very much.

*toot*

*toot*

*grin*

I am a geek.

On a more serious note, there is something on that to-do list that I would like to report is now going better. Two somethings, actually. The first is that I have gone running twice a week for the last three weeks. It hasn't been easy--actually, it has been mostly frustrating and demoralizing as I see how much stamina I lost by not running for two months. Six running sessions, and I still can't go as far or as fast as what I was doing when I quit in November.

That's the first time I've called it what it was: quitting. I quit for two months. I hadn't been able to admit that to myself until now.

I soooooooooooooo badly want to get back to what I was doing before I quit. I had been so encouraged by the progress I'd made; it's not easy for a former heart patient to build up the kind of stamina that comes naturally to most people. And by quitting, I sabotaged myself. I tend to do that with a lot of things--too many to go into right now. But I often wonder if I subconsciously believe that I don't deserve for good to come my way, and so I sabotage myself so as to avoid the good I believe I don't deserve?

Possibly. But that is another story and shall be told another time. ;o)

Anyway, the point is that I WANT to work hard and build back up my to pre-November stamina...and then I want to go further. I am competing against no one but myself, which might make my challenge more difficult.

On the other hand, I ***looooooooooooove*** challenge. Bring it on!

The second "to-do" is that I've been listening to God a lot more lately. Things finally came to a head several weekends ago, when I found myself in so much pain--mental and emotional--that I simply had to drop everything and go to God. I'm sorry I let myself go so far that hitting rock-bottom like that was necessary. But hit the bottom I did, and from there, I had nowhere to go but up.

I don't want to go into details, because really, they're not important. What matters is that for about seventeen hours, I couldn't see or talk to anyone (except Ed, since (a) he lives with me and (b) he got to experience the full force of my emotional-fallen-apart-ness). I talked to God a lot, but I couldn't bring myself to go out and see anyone else. It feels a little weird to say, but my need to spend time with God was so great, I couldn't bring myself to attend a Sunday morning worship service. I was so desperate for God, I wanted no other humans with me, not even other Christians. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but that's how it was.

By Sunday evening, I had regained enough peace to worship with the house church and immerse myself gladly in that fellowship. Since then, I feel as though I've started being a little more aware of God's presence in my life. My relationship with God still isn't anywhere near where it should be--but I think there is healing going on, like a medicine deep inside, working where nobody but God can see. This isn't the first time in my life that I've experienced this healing; one would think I would have remembered that there's a reason he is called the Great Physician.

Hey, remember the song we used to sing when we were kids?

"He's still workin' on me
to make me what I ought to be...
How loving and patient he must be..."

Why do we ever stop singing that song? It's a lot more relevant for adults than it is for children.

courtney thought in facebook status updates all day today

Courtney is glad she was able to talk the Rack Room Shoes store manager into letting her exchange the non-fitting Converse All-Stars for a larger-sized pair, even though she had already worn the non-fitting pair outside.

Courtney wishes the wind would decide on a direction and stick with it.

Courtney does not enjoy running against a headwind.

Courtney does realize that running against a headwind will help her stamina improve, but that doesn't mean she has to like it.

Courtney runs in Nikes, not in Converse. Converses. Conversely, her next pair of running shoes will probably be New Balance....s.

Courtney is a little confused.

Courtney hopes that Ed isn't getting the flu. :o/

Courtney might get to see her Aunt Karen tomorrow--for the first time in...four years? five years?

Courtney had the same bagger at Crest today who, a few months ago, didn't want to let her put groceries directly into the cart instead of into bags, thereby eliciting a severe culture shock reaction.

Courtney had no problems with this bagger today, and she was glad to discover that she is over the cart-no-bags incident. ;o)

Courtney sure does enjoy driving her car. Thanks, J. ;o)

Courtney is having fun blogging like this.

Courtney wonders if, in addition to speaking of herself in third person, she should adopt the royal "we."

Courtney dresses for less at Ross.

Courtney has all the squares and rectangles of fabric cut out for the curtain she's sewing.

Courtney also wants to continue her afghan-crochet project, but she has to buy more yarn first.

Courtney hasn't bought a new canvas yet. *sadness*

Courtney has been working on finishing the first draft of a new book while her mom reads the second draft of the other book.

Courtney loves writing.

Courtney is going to bed now.

what my book is about, by the way

My cousin asked, so I answered, and this is what I came up with, so I decided to post it here:

It's about a girl whose family fled the authorities ten years ago, and now the bad guys are back and capture her and her little sister, and then a war starts, and the main character has to decide whose side she's on and figure out how to get her sister (who is deathly ill) home. And in-between, there's magic and love and loss and betrayal and hard choices and kissing and kidnapping and secret passageways and horses and waterfalls and swords and crazy people and happy people and sad people and campfire stories and stuff.

I have so much fun with this, somebody really oughtta tranquilize me. ;o)

latest on the writing life

So, as some of you already know, I finished the second draft of my novel a couple of weeks ago. HUZZAH!!! Currently, my mom is in possession of the only hard copy. Since she is English Teacher and Proofreader Extraordinaire--and also recently re-retired and having more time on her hands (when, that is, she's not dealing with house-building issues, which is Another Story And Shall Be Told Another Time)--I asked her to be my beta reader for the second draft.

What is a beta reader, you might ask? (Or not, as the case might be, but I'm going to tell you anyway.) A beta reader is something of a proofreader--but beta reading goes much further than simply noting typos or punctuation and spelling errors. A beta also checks characterization and story development, looks for plot holes, finds the Places Where This Just Doesn't Read Right, and generally tries to give honest feedback on how the story reads to a reader.

The recipient of said feedback is, of course, the alpha, i.e. the writer of said story--in this case, Yours Writerly. ;o)

I had a non-mom beta reader for my first draft, and I will admit that I was on pins and needles the whole time he had the manuscript. It was like letting a non-parent hold your newborn baby for the first time. I survived the experience but was quite hard-pressed not to pester the beta with continual questions such as "What chapter are you on?"--"What do you think so far?"--"Does Event X fit in well with Subplot L?"--"How does the fifth paragraph on page 124 read to you?"--and so forth. Though I resisted temptation to plague the beta with my questions, I do believe I still made a nuisance of myself.

Believe it or not, this time it's worse.

The baby isn't a baby anymore. Draft Two is just past the toddler stage, moving fairly well on its own, yet still occasionally head-bumping into the edges of tables and open drawers. I can let it out of my sight for a moment or two, yes--but it's just independent enough to wreak havoc in the livingroom while my back is turned. And when it falls down and bonks its noggin, it still needs me to pick it up, cuddle it, and tell it that everything's going to be okay--see? we'll just scrape off this unnecessary dangling participle right here, and you'll be good as new, shhhh, don't cry. And it looks up at me and says "I love you" with those big, beautiful, well-dialogued and character-driven eyes, and my heart melts.

And what have I done? I've sent that beautiful, growing-up little one off to grandma's house for the next month or so.

You parents out there can appreciate my agony. ;o)

I have to resist calling multiple times per day. "Is it okay? Is it eating well? Is it reading well? Does this changed plot line work? Does that character makesensenow? And haveIdoneahideousthinginlettingmychildoutofsightandoutofhouse and howmuchlongercanItakethis???????????"

I want my kid back!!!!! It's not safe with anyone but me!!!!!!

It has nothing to do with the fact that my mom is the one who has my kid in her keeping. I'd feel this way about any beta reader at this point. (I'm finding, also, that I'm leaning more toward calling her the "gamma" reader, since she's the third....)

It's not even that I feel driven to work on the story right now or anything like that. I just feel very protective, very vulnerable, and very jealous that anyone else is getting a look at the product of my creative psyche's inner workings. And yet, at the same time, I'm excited, rejoicing-y, and very much looking forward to discussing the story with my "gamma" reader when she's finished. It's a nutty dichotomy, and I suppose it's pretty much the way a writer's life always goes.

Oh chocolate mousse custard. If it's bad now, with the second draft, how much worse is it going to be with the third? And the possible fourth?

I guess that when I finally do send the manuscript to an agent, I'll be pretty much catatonic. Consider yourselves forewarned. ;o)

One more thing on writing-life current events: In November, I was focused on NaNoWriMo. In December, I was focused on finishing the second draft of my novel. Last week, after it was all over and the kid was well on its way to grandma's house, I told Ed that I felt as though I were waking up from a particularly pleasant dream.

"I've been a little obsessive, haven't I?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, then shrugged. "But you're a writer. You kind of have to be."

That felt good.

I love my husband. He gets it. :o)

book comments 12

I didn't think I'd be blogging book comments again so soon, but now I find I just gotta, and for two reasons: (1) I'm currently taking a break from noveling, having just finished the second draft of my book, and I'm getting antsy and must write, must write, must write something! and (2) this evening I finished a book that made me really mad, so I must write about it.

"No Plot? No Problem! A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing A Novel In 30 Days" by Chris Baty, NaNoWriMo Grand Poobah and Dispenser of Many Witticisms
--You might already be able to tell that I heartily approve of Mr. Baty and his book. ;o)
--title is self-explanatory
--I actually started this one during NaNo 2008, but got so involved in NaNo-ing that I forgot to keep reading.
--Baty invented NaNo, so obviously he knows what he's talking about throughout.
--highly recommend for anyone considering NaNoWriMo

"Even Now" by Karen Kingsbury
--story of the consequences (a) of teen promiscuity and (b) of parents' not allowing their children to experience the consequences of their actions
--excellent, well-flowing writing
--clear, well-developed characters
--I didn't like the ending; even though it was a "happy" one, it seemed contrived and out-of-character for the adult Lauren.
--also, I wish Kingsbury had delved into and developed the theme that God is not to blame for the wrong choices that humans make
--recommend, especially for readers who enjoy coming-of-age stories; this would also be a great book for parents and teens to read together

Finally, the book that has me so irritated right now, with spoilers:

"Here on Earth" by Alice Hoffman
--story of a woman named March, who goes back to her hometown after 21 years and starts having an extramarital affair with the guy she slept with as a teenager
--what's frustrating is that this is a very well-written novel: *very* strong, well-developed characters; nothing happens in the story that is not character-driven; clear, flowing style; Hoffman even makes the landscape a character in the story --> masterful
BUT:
--40 pages into the story, I already HATED Hollis, March's "lust interest" (please note that I do *not* use the word "love"), and halfway through the story, I just wanted him to die. I guess that's another tribute to Hoffman's skill: that one of her characters provoked such a powerful reaction in me.
I hate March's ridiculous dependence on Hollis.
I hate the fact that neither March nor Hollis understand that what they have is NOT love; it is obsession, addiction, dependence, immorality, manipulation, enabling, hate, and cowardice.
By the time March finally opened her eyes to what was going on, I had lost all sympathy for her and was ready for her to die, too!
--I think Mandy was right: These two are a darker, more disturbing version of Kathy and Heathcliff of "Wuthering Heights"--which is saying a lot.
--The only characters I liked were March's reporter friend, Susie, and Gwen, the rebellious teen who's in love with her first cousin.
--This one tied me up in knots, so I can't recommend it--though I stand by my opinion that Hoffman did a good job. ;o)


My next read is going to be Christopher Paolini's "Brisingr," which I expect will leave me knot-free and feeling much more pleasant. ;o)

other people's shopping lists

Is it weird for my first blopgost of the year to be a sample of other people's writing? Hmmm.....maybe not weird. For my standards. But hopefully not telling, either. ;o)

Anyway....

In the space of about three weeks, in the course of my own shopping adventures (which are often fraught with danger, adventure, and frustration), I found several grocery lists belonging to fellow shoppers. Said lists lay forgotten in the bottom of shopping carts or, gasp and egad, on the floor. I picked them up, tucked them away, and re-discovered them last week whilst cleaning and re-organizing my desk.

I don't know why--maybe it's the voyeur in me--but I am amused to see what these unknown folks had on their lists. And, so that you can be as weirdly amused as I am, I am going to share these lists with you. Now.

The Lined-Yellow-Paper List
Toothpicks
miLK
Bananas for UBall
**Spraystarch

I'll not venture to analyze the random capitalizations of letters, nor why spraystarch might have been so important as to merit two stars. I will, however, note that "toothpicks" looks a lot more like "toonpicks," which makes me giggle.

UBall. University Ball? Underground Ball? Undiscovered Ball? Unctuous Ball? Ubiquitous Ball? Unabashed Ball? It is a mystery....but not a Mystery Ball, silly, or it would've been noted as "MBall." Duh.

;o)


The I-Love-My-Home List
barnuits -
muffins
flour -

shredded wheat -
oatmeal

milk
heavy cream



- toothpaste -
Hiland cottage cheese 24 oz 2.00


1 can solid pack pumpkin

fruit

The author of the I-Love-My-Home list was apparently rather unconcerned with saving space. A wasteful individual? Or one simply trusting in the abundant supply of notepad paper with "I Love My Home" emblazoned across the bottom of the sheet? We shall never know.

Oh, and whatever "barnuits" might have been, I guess the shopper decided they (a) weren't to be found, (b) weren't necessary after all, (c) were the only thing to be found, or (d) didn't exist, because they are crossed out.


The Upside-Down-Apples List
tortilas [sic]
mayo
p bitter
chicken breast
cottage cheese
strawberries
peppers gr. + red
cereal
syrup
tartar sauce

At the top of this list is a row of sliced apples, and they are upside down. There is an arrow pointing from "chicken" to "tortilas" [sic], leading me to believe that something Mexican might have been on the menu for supper that night. Also, I am sure that "p bitter" is actually "p butter" = peanut butter, but that sure isn't what it looks like.

And thus ends my first blopgost of 2009. I suspect it might be bloppier than usual. Tah-dah. ;o)

book comments 11 (including "twilight"! and my book-count for 2008)

"The Hobbit" by J.R.R. Tolkien
--nth re-read
--more enjoyable every time, like visiting old friends
--Whoever does the movie(s) had better not mess up. ;o)
--highly recommend, of course--it's Tolkien! ;o)

"The Children of Húrin" by J.R.R. Tolkien (published posthumously)
--a story from Tolkien's Middle-Earth, taking place more than 6000 years before the events in "The Hobbit" and LOTR
--heart-breaking tale of one man's life and the end results of pride
--strong, vivid characters; excellent world-building
--fascinating thread in the tapestry of Tolkien's mythology
--recommend, especially to Toklien/Middle-Earth fans

"Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer

consisting of:
"Twilight"
"New Moon"
"Eclipse"
"Breaking Dawn"

--compelling story of "star-crossed lovers" ("lovers" in the emotional sense, not the physical): human Bella and vampire Edward
--excellent character development of main and side characters
--main character's "voice" is strong, interesting, easily distinguishable
--Meyer has a great grasp on how to create the kind of conflict and tension that keeps a reader turning pages....frantically, intently turning pages. ;o)
--great world-building
--contrary to probable expectations, I am actually going to give a little criticism here ;o)
--Bella's low self-esteem is off-putting. I've read the series twice now, and her low self-confidence bothered me even more the second time. HOWEVER, that is Bella's tragic flaw (aside from loving a vampire, of course ;o) and Meyer resolves it in grand, page-turning fashion over the course of the series and especially in the fourth book.
--Also, Meyer's overuse of adverbs and extravagant dialogue-descriptors ("whispered," "sneered," "hissed," "moaned," "snarled" -- instead of a simple "said") really bothered me as a writer. And as a reader. However, this also improved through the course of the series--as though Meyer grew as a writer while Bella grew as a character. Which is just as it should be. ;o)
--forget the Harry Potter comparisons here--apples and kiwis--the two series aren't anything alike--only their readers are
--for "vampire" lit, this is refreshingly lacking in extraneous sex, even though the sexual tension between the two MCs is tangible
--also refreshingly lacking in extra-marital sex and vulgar language
--recommend to anyone who enjoys fantasy, young adult literature, "vampire" lit, chick lit, "coming-of-age" lit, etc.

"The Host" by Stephenie Meyer
--billed as "sci-fi for people who don't like sci-fi," and I agree with that assessment even though I love sci-fi
--written for an adult audience, but also a great read for young adults
--I'll admit, it took me a good 20 or 30 pages really to get into the story, but the conflict between the MC and the "Seeker" really hooked me...no going back after that. ;o)
--easily one of the most enjoyable sci-fi novels I've ever read
--fresh, original treatment of "cliché body-snatching"
--great writing
--I'll be reading this one again and again.
--highly recommend


Courtney's Total Count of Read Books for 2008: 51.5 (That .5 is because I never did finish Wolfe's "Man in Full," and I ain't gonna.) ;o)

[Addendum: I realized today that the actual count is 56.5, because I forgot that I re-read the first five books of Stephen King's "Dark Tower" series. But I'll wait to comment on that humdinger when I've acquired and re-read the final two books of the series.

(*snort* I said "humdinger.")]


HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE, EVERYONE! I wish you all the best for 2009, and may many wonderful books find their way into your hands! *smile*

book comments 10 (three high recommendations)

Not-so-recent and recent fiction:

"The Dark Is Rising Sequence" by Susan Cooper
consisting of:

"Over Sea, Under Stone"
"The Dark is Rising"
"Greenwitch"
"The Grey King"
"Silver on the Tree"

--I don't know how many times I've read this series since I was a young teen.
--this was my first re-read as an adult
--initial reaction: These books have been around since the 1960s....and they are better than Harry Potter. Gasp and egad. ;o)
--seriously, the characters, setting, "magic," and universe of Dark is Rising simply have more substance than Potter
--story of Good's triumph over Evil because the main characters overcome their own failings, resist temptation, and place their trust in wisdom
--adult Potter fans will enjoy these books if they also enjoy mythology and/or Arthurian legend
--highly recommend

"The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins
--one of the best post-apocalyptic young adult novels I've ever read
--thoroughly compelling main character --> I laughed, mourned, agonized, wept, and triumphed with her.
--excellent world-building
--very well-developed supporting characters
--***page-turner***
--got to the end, read "end of book one" after the final paragraph, and literally said out loud, "OH YEAH."
--highly recommend

"Mark of the Lion I: A Voice in the Wind" by Francine Rivers
--thoroughly fascinating story of a Christian Jew, slave to Romans in the first century, after the fall of Jerusalem
--heart-breaking, heart-convicting main character --> I have never before found myself comparing my faith and my walk with God to that of a fictional character....and learning from her example.
--It took me about 50 pages really to get into the story, but once I was in, I was IN.
--excellent use of tension and conflict throughout
--got to the end and cried over it, then jubled when I realized that this one, too, has a sequel!!!
--HIGHLY recommend

book comments 9

Recent and not-so-recent fiction:

"Oryx and Crake" by Margaret Atwood
--fascinating post-apolcalyptic story
--typical Atwood: lots of hinting at things to come, building suspense until you can hardly stand it --> page-turner!
--clever, subtle comment about the likely future of today's genetic science
--watch out for vulgar language and adult themes (i.e. slave prostitution, child pornography)
--recommend, but not for the faint of heart (or stomach)

"The War of the Flowers" by Tad Williams
--Mr. Williams really swings my verge. ;o)
--fresh, original treatment of the fantasy genre, including fantasy creatures that might be considered "cliché"
--a main character you can fall in love with because of his development throughout
--plot twists like you can't believe
--highly recommend

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" by Roald Dahl
--WONDERFUL story
--fun, warm, charming, witty, and sometimes morbid ;o)
--first-time read for me, and I now see that Johnny Depp's "Chocolate Factory" is much closer to Dahl's novel than Gene Wilder's "Willy Wonka"
--highly recommend for kids and adults

"Boy" by Roald Dahl
--and this one pretty much explains the oddness of "Charlie & Ch. Factory" ;o) (which is why I'm including it here, with the fiction, instead of with the non-fiction below)
--a collection of what Dahl remembers from his childhood
--fascinating look into what shaped him to become a writer
--fun, warm, charming, witty, and sometimes morbid ;o)
--recommend

"MYST: The Book of Atrus" by Rand and Robyn Miller
"MYST: The Book of Ti'Ana" by Rand Miller
both with David Wingrove
--my second time to read these; the first was 10 or 12 years ago
--interesting plots, well-written characters, excellent world-building
--problems: As a writer, I often had trouble chewing my way through what I perceived as poor writing (grammar and spelling errors, shifting point-of-view in mid-paragraph...). My fingers often itched for a red pen.
--I sometimes got confused with what was going on, because I just couldn't picture in my head what the authors were describing.
--still, enjoyable storylines and characters --> great protagonist-antagonist relationships
--recommend to die-hard fantasy fans, but with reservations

"Winter of Fire" by Sherryl Jordan
--read this several times as a teenager; this was my first re-read as an adult
--enjoyed it even more this time than as a teen
--GREAT young adult fantasy novel
--compelling main character --> with excellent character development throughout
--exemplary world-building
--recommend

book comments 8

Recent and not-so-recent non-fiction:

"Walking Through the Wardrobe: A devotional quest into The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" by Sarah Arthur
--a thought-provoking read
--GREAT DEVOTIONAL GUIDE FOR YOUNG ADULTS
--practical, daily life applications
--challenges the thinking
--challenges readers to share their faith in a kind-hearted way
--highly recommend for (a) teens, (b) parents of teens, (c) anyone interested in the connections between Christianity and the fantasy genre

"High-Tech Worship? Using Presentational Technologies Wisely" by Quentin J. Schultze
--refreshingly candid look at how modern technology influences corporate worship and vice versa
--thought-provoking
--for the most part scripture-based, as far as I remember
--recommend for anyone involved in determining the course of worship services
--caveat: Readers will need to weed out some denomination-specific terminology.

"The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence
--I can't say enough good things about this book.
--in my mind, this ranks on the level of C.S. Lewis's "Mere Christianity"
--Brother Lawrence describes a covenant relationship with God boiled down to its fundamentals
--in modern parlance, this is a "how-to" book for how to love God--or maybe "How to Love God, For Dummies" ;o)
--highly recommend

"The Art of Coming Home" by Craig Storti
--excellent must-read for anyone transitioning "home" from another culture
--realistic, no-holds-barred, ACCURATE assessment of culture shock, re-entry shock, adjustment
--good warnings included (especially for those who think adjusting won't be a problem)
--highly recommend for those anticipating or experiencing a cultural transition
--especially recommend for the families and friends of culture-crossers

Homeward Bound: A Spouse's Guide to Repatriation" by Robin Pascoe
--another great must-read on what it's like to experience cultural re-integration
--perspective of a spouse not returning to a "normal" career path
--funny, gives an oft-needed, lighter perspective on transitional difficulties
--highly recommend

oooh, a p.s. before bedtime

This year's Christmas presents, just for fun:

* "The Children of Hurin" by J.R.R. Tolkien (posthumously published)
* Mama's gray sweater, which is over 40 years old and which I've wanted since I was a kid
* earrings
* knit cap
* calendar of Chemnitzer pics
* comforter set, new pillows, sheets--our bed looks so pretty now!
* jar of Grandma's hot pepper jelly
* gift card to Kohl's
* yearly Christmas tree ornament (my parents have given me one every year of my life)

* and a well-needed reminder that most of the world didn't get any Christmas presents.

I am thankful for God's blessings.

Anybody like to share presents or thankfulnesses?

my to-do list

So, this past week, I FINISHED THE SECOND DRAFT OF MY NOVEL.

Let's have a moment of ponderous silence during which to ponder my ponderous accomplishment.

.

.

.

.

.


There, now, don't we all feel better? I thought so. ;o)

YAY AND HUZZAH, I FINISHED THE SECOND DRAFT OF MY NOVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pop the corks and furl the bumbershoots! Switch your flip! Bring out your dead!

*ahem*

In case you can't tell, I'm rather excited.

Now that the 2nd draft is done, there comes a time of rest from noveling. I need to take a few steps back from the story before I start working on the 3rd draft in a month or so. Until then, I have a few projects in mind, many of which I have been putting off for just such a break-from-noveling occasion. They are as follows, and in random order:

* re-organize my closet and give away excess clothing, of which there exists too much
* organize all digital pictures from the last 15 months. uffda.
* and post a kabloollion pictures to Facebook
* finish the first draft of my 2008 NaNoWriMo novel (I did my requisite 50k, but the story itself is incomplete [and yes, I do realize that this would defeat the purpose of taking a break from noveling--but it *is* a different story, after all!].).
* get my book comment blogging up-to-date (I've got at least 10 books to do, probably more)
* buy some canvas and do some painting (which I haven't since August)
* find out how to go about volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House
* clean and re-organize my desk so that it actually fosters creativity instead of quashing it. uffda.
* spend my gift card
* write some people (and I mean the real kind, not fictional)
* update my journal
* answer blog comments
* blog about the writing life
* blog about "resonance"
* fix the problems with my Facebook Notes
* clean out my car (and give Jennifer her stuff)
* re-organize some of the kitchen cabinets and get rid of never-used implements
* get back into regular exercise

*** spend regular time with God--because I have been putting him off. I admit it.

I'll strikethrough each project as I finish it--except for the last two, because they need to be ongoing. :o) I'm sure there are other things I need to get done, or would like to (for instance, investigate the nature of the clattering-about my neighbor does in his kitchen at 11 o'clock every night), but these are the only ones I could think of right now. So, here's my list, and I'll be checking it way more than twice, and there you have it, and now I'm going to bed!

celebrating my 500th blopgost

Title is self-explanatory. ;o)

To celebrate said self-explanatoriness, as well as to celebrate my return to blogging after a long (for me) hiatus, I give you the following--and, I think, rather appropriate--quote:

"Younger people, one could point out, are the only ones for whom it seems to have sunk in that the idea of a truly private life is already an illusion. Every street in New York has a surveillance camera. Each time you swipe your debit card at Duane Reade or use your MetroCard, that transaction is tracked. Your employer owns your e-mails. The NSA owns your phone calls. Your life is being lived in public whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.

"So it may be time to consider the possibility that young people who behave as if privacy doesn’t exist are actually the sane people, not the insane ones. For someone like me, who grew up sealing my diary with a literal lock, this may be tough to accept. But under current circumstances, a defiant belief in holding things close to your chest might not be high-minded. It might be an artifact—quaint and naïve, like a determined faith that virginity keeps ladies pure. Or at least that might be true for someone who has grown up 'putting themselves out there' and found that the benefits of being transparent make the risks worth it.

"Shirky describes this generational shift in terms of pidgin versus Creole. 'Do you know that distinction? Pidgin is what gets spoken when people patch things together from different languages, so it serves well enough to communicate. But Creole is what the children speak, the children of pidgin speakers. They impose rules and structure, which makes the Creole language completely coherent and expressive, on par with any language. What we are witnessing is the Creolization of media.'

"That’s a cool metaphor, I respond. 'I actually don’t think it’s a metaphor,' he says. 'I think there may actually be real neurological changes involved'..."

--from "Say Everything" by Emily Nussbaum"
(long article, but very worth the read, if you'll give it about 15 minutes)


Things that make ya go "hmmmmm...." That, or oo-ee-oo-ah-ah.

ich denk an euch

Hallo ihr Lieben!

Ich hatte dies eigentlich gestern Abend geschrieben, aber Gesichtsbuch hat's irgendwie von alleine gelöscht. Naja, mal sehen ob' diesmal klappt....und ausserdem trifft's heute genauso zu wie gestern! ;o)

Ich sitze hier und geniesse den schönen Anblick unserer Weihnachtsdeko. Ed und ich haben gestern schon gescmückt, aber soeben hat er den letzten Schwibbogen aufgestellt. "We have hübsche Lichter!" sagte ich. ;o) In einem gestrigen "status update" hab ich erzählt, dass wir unsere Weihnachtsdeko das letzte Mal vor zwei Jahren sehen durften--denn letztes Jahr blieb alles eingepackt vom Umzug. Ich denke daran, dass wir diese schönen Sachen--und das meiste stammt aus'm Erzgebirge!--das letzte Mal zusammen mit euch geniessen durften.

Ich wollte euch also nur mitteilen, dass ich an euch denke. Ich weiss, ich hab im letzten Jahr schrecklich wenig von mir hören lassen. Aber trotzdem denke ich täglich an euch, vermisse euch, und habe euch alle sehr, sehr lieb!

Eure Courtney :o)

courtney needs...

I Googled "Courtney needs," left out the lists other Courtneys throughout the world have posted on their blogs, and came up with:

1. Courtney needs a little help.
2. Courtney needs to lay off the plastic.
3. Courtney needs a new camera.
4. Courtney needs some love. (Awwwww....)
5. Courtney needs a parent. (No surprise there... ;o)
6. Courtney needs to be cleaned up.
7. Courtney needs something more.
8. Courtney needs to gain a perspective. (Which one?)
9. Courtney needs to get treatment. (Oooh, news flash!)
10. Courtney needs a bit more help. (Ha! Bookends!)

And, since I know Ed won't do this, and I find it amusing, here's his list (with his permission!):

1. Ed needs a Hummer. (That's a matter of opinion!)
2. Ed needs a miracle.
3. Ed needs to know about it.
4. Ed needs an IT Policy Task Force. (Don't we all?!)
5. Ed needs attention. (Oooooh, pick me, pick me! ;o)
6. Ed needs a break. (I second the motion.)
7. Ed needs support.
8. Ed needs disclosure. (Eh?)
9. Ed needs more good years.
10. Ed needs your help.

Apparently, Ed and I are in need of assistance. Any volunteers? ;oD

I've been NaNoing. Long story short, November is National Novel Writing Month, during which writers commit to writing a 50,000 word novel from Nov. 1st-30th. All of my writing energy has been going into my NaNo, which is why my blog has suffered. However, I decided to stick something fun in here tonight before I call it a day.

In order to check my current word count at nanowrimo.org, I encrypted my novel before sending it through their online validator. (Microsoft Word tells me my word count is at 37203, but NaNoWriMo's validator claims I'm only at 36968. Oh well, eleven more days to add some extra padding on top of getting to 50k.) For fun, here's an excerpt from the encrypted text. Enjoy:

...Kallardra spollargglarpsop. “Seyke you would kpollaw, Mbuzzss BUZZ Seyve BUZZn Glde Seyt Departmallart Busbuzzness Bubuzzldbuzzng. BUZZs buzzt gglarpso late gglarps add cluises?”

“’Course pollat, dist, buzzt’s glde fbuzzrst week of schois. What, you’re gofarna take up sbuzzngbuzzng, just seyke gldat?”

“Your mom’s a dist. Aild gldat’s what vobuzzce teechers are for. Gglarps teech sbuzzngbuzzng.”

“Your face,” Klufarnbuzzfer ailswerglarp.

“Chbuzzldrallar, chbuzzldrallar,” BUZZ murmurglarp, fbuzzghtbuzzng...

transitional meltdown revisited

Things finally came to a head today. I'd been feeling the malaise (or ennui, if you will) coming on, and I'd been doing various creative, spiritual, and mental/emotional health exercises to stave it (that is, the malaise/ennui) off. But I knew that at some point, something was gonna give. I asked the house church to pray for me yesterday, so I knew that God would get something done, one way or the other.

God seems to answer my prayers in the grocery store a lot. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Sort of.

So this afternoon, I got ready to go to the grocery store. Crest, to be specific. I finally remembered to bring along my cloth bags and Klappkiste (? a foldable plastic box, great for carrying stuff, staple in every German household). I debated taking the cloth bags into Crest with me and asking the bagger simply to bag my purchases in my personal bags. I decided against that, though, figuring it might throw the bagger for too much of a loop.

Because, as you know, friends and neighbors, baggers don't like to be thrown for loops. I didn't know that before this afternoon, but I sure as turkey-at-Thanksgiving know it now. My leaving the cloth bags in the car must have been prophetic. But again, I'm getting ahead of things.

Went to Crest. Shopped for groceries. Couldn't find chicken broth. Found lots of new food for Pippin. Gave up on chicken broth. Chicken broth and catfood not related.

When I arrived at the cash register, I told the bagger that I'd like for him to place all my groceries directly in a cart without bagging them. The bagger in question made an affirmative noise--"Mmhm" or "Okay" or somesuch. I turned my attention to the cashier and the growing total on his screen as he scanned my groceries.

A few moments later, I looked to my right and saw the bagger putting my squash and northern beans into a paper bag.

"Oh, I'd like for the groceries to go into the cart," I said again, thinking maybe he didn't hear me the first time. "I don't want any bags."

He bagged a can of catfood. "Well, I'm really not supposed to let you do that."

Wha....?

My brain tried to process for a second. Didn't succeed. See, this is the part where the cultural transition issues come into play: I couldn't grasp all the implications of what he was saying. It was literally impossible for me to shift gears in my mind. I grabbed onto the first thing that popped into my head, probably chipping off a few mental teeth in the process.

I would love to say that I replied to him with gentle, polite, but firm insistence.

Instead, all that came out was, "What happened to 'the customer is always right'?" And it was rather snippish, too. I was mortified at my own rudeness, but plowed ahead anyway. "I really don't want any bags."

"Well," said he, "we've been having problems with people stealing food."

I felt my mouth drop open. Rationality was making a hasty exit. I looked from him to the open exit door...seven or eight feet away. How would I steal food, going from this register out that door? Do you want to watch me?

Aloud, I said, "I'll be going from here--" pointing at my feet "--to there--" pointing at the doorway close at hand.

He glared at me. At least, it seemed like a glare. It could have been an expression of abject disappointment in the way his day was going. I don't know. He kind of mumbled something. I gestured in the general direction of the shopping cart. "Please just put the groceries in the cart. I really. Don't. Want. Any. Bags."

He began taking catfood, beans, and other items out of the bags and putting them into the cart. As I turned away with a world-weary sigh, he muttered, "All right, but it won't be my fault if you get stopped."

I forbore replying to that. This whole time, the cashier had continued merrily scanning items and sending them in the general direction of the recalcitrant (!) bagger. The total had risen, but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get out of there.

I finally got out of there. I told the bagger, "Thank you for your cooperation," and said it with a smile. I pushed my cart the seven or eight feet from the register to the open doorway. I neither stole food, nor did anyone accuse me of any crimes. I drove home and put away the groceries.

Ed walked in the door, and I cried because I hadn't cooked anything and had bought the wrong kind of light bulbs.

"All I wanted," I wailed, "was to do something good for the environment! I wanted to save some trees! I just wanted to shop the German way!"

A big part of why I'm okay now is that I have a husband who listens, who doesn't care that there's no food, who's perfectly happy to make his own supper, and who lets me cry when I need to. He's amazing. God is amazing, for blessing me with Ed.

So there's the most recent story of my cultural transition. We're approaching the one-year mark, and I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm aware of moments like this afternoon, I recognize them for what they are, and I process them. I don't fret about why this is happening to me or about whether or not this is ever going to go away. I know that eventually, because I have God, I'll be fine. No matter what happens. He has brought me through worse than this.

It's funny, though, how my major meltdown moments are connected with stores. This one at Crest, a previous one at Buy-for-Less. A few years ago on furlough, I had one at Wal-Mart, and in Chemnitz, I had one at IKEA (a sofa and a credit card were involved). That just goes to show what an integral part necessities-shopping is in culture.

And that's all I have to say about that. :o)

hypocrisy?

Sony has recalled a new game for its Playstation3. "LittleBigPlanet" isn't even on store shelves yet, but it's being recalled because in some of the background music, the singer quotes two verses from the Qu'ran. This is offensive to Muslims, so the game is being recalled and the offensive content deleted before the game goes back to stores.

Fine. I have absolutely no problem with that.

But if the content had been something like, oh, I dunno...language offensive to Christians, or inappropriate use of God's name, or something of that sort...would anyone have even considered recalling the game?

I doubt it.

Heaven forbid we offend any particular group of people. Except Christians. They're free game, didn't you know?

2. Timothy 3:12.

assistance, please; and a few good words

So, I'm entering my hand-written revisions of my first draft into the digital file of the novel. As I knew I eventually would, I have found a sample of my own handwriting that I cannot decipher:

"...if not for the pale furlges splotching her cheeks."

It might also be:

"...if not for the pale furtyes splotching her cheeks."

Or:

"...the pale furlyues splotching her cheeks."

I am perplexed. Personally, I think I like "furlyues" best--it appeals to my sense of whimsy. I might have to start using that one in normal blogversation.

Care to venture a guess? You can haz cybercookeez!

Also, I'd like to note that "mellifluous" and "flabbergasted" are two of my favorite words.