Frankly, when you do mission work, a lot of people put you up on a pedestal, and that's a really bad place to be.
Because it's easy to fall off.
I'm not going to go into the every-Christian-is-by-definition-a-missionary, because that is another story and shall be told another time. My point for this particular blopgost is that many people (1) seem to think that only a "special few" have what it takes to tell others about Jesus in a "foreign" (also a topic for another time) country; (2) these same people make a big fuss over those who tell others about Jesus in a foreign country; and (3) these same people continue to put the "missionaries" up on a pedestal even 1.4 years after said "missionaries" are no longer working in a foreign country.
Please note that I am not trying to mock anyone or infuse my post with contempt for the well-intentioned folks who "fuss" over me.
I just wish there were a brief yet polite way to communicate that...
..."I'm proud of you" is not a phrase that makes me feel good.
I am not the one who did the work--*God* did it--so there's no reason for me to be proud. The other person is not the one who did the work--so why should they be proud? I am glad I did the work; I wouldn't trade my time as a "missionary" for anything; I am pleased that God used me to encourage others. But pride is a dangerous thing for me, and I'd like to avoid even the appearance of it, even if it's well-meant.
...I appreciate the encouragement, but I do not want to be elevated in anyone's eyes.
The pedestal thing really doesn't work for me. Actually, it scares me--because pedestals are high; and I've been up there before; and I have liked it; and I have fallen. I really don't want to be up there again and face the possibility of liking the lofty heights again. There's only one way off, and it's fast, and it really hurts when you hit the bottom.
...it's an honor for people to be in the presence of God.
It is not an honor for people to be in the presence of me. I am no different, no better, no higher, no purer, nor more admirable than any other human being. Save the honor and the praise for God, because he is the only one who has done something to deserve it. He is the only one who *is* something to deserve it.
...I love to feel appreciated, and I love to hear that I'm appreciated.
Encourage me, yes. Be my friend, yes. Tell me you love me, yes. Ask me for my stories, yes. That is the way to let me know that I have encouraged you, that I mean something to you. But don't feed my ego. It's big enough already.
What is the way to say this in ten words or fewer? :o) I try really hard to give credit where it's due (--> GOD), but it's hard to find the right words without hurting the feelings of the well-intentioned. And I just don't want to hurt anybody. I've done enough of that, too.
*sigh* Life is hard, and then you do the potato wave.
I don't know exactly what that means, but I think it's the truth. ;o)
Monday, March 30, 2009
telling it like it is--a side effect of mission work
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6 comments:
:) I love you for this
And I love you for *that*. :o)
I love the bit about the pedestal. That's a good analogy and true for me as well, as far as that goes. I have even heard such similar phrases from well-meaning congregations back in the States. Something to the effect of: "let's raise these folks up for what they are doing 'over there.'" They deserve our gratitude and praise." It is very easy to fall into the trap of taking the credit for any good that's been done on the mission field instead of giving the honor to God. But I would also emphasize your last point and say that I treasure each and every encouraging word that is written/spoken to me, because it IS difficult to "live outside the box" and to be so far away from the familiar faces that you're used to. I don't take credit for God's handiwork on the 'mission field,' and I don't take credit either for the wonderful design of his supportive Church.
Quite possibly the best blog post I've read this year. Thank you.
Missionaries are required to make many sacrifices. Some sacrifices are expected, many are not. One of the often unexpected sacrifices is the requirement to receive praise because it is good for the “praiser” even if is not good for the “praised”. The praiser thinks he is honoring the praised but the praised is rarely benefited and may even be hurt, as you have well said. The praiser however, benefits from verbalizing the desire to be more like the praised, a good thing.
Withstanding praise, especially heartfelt sincere praise, requires great maturity.
I appreciate your blog and hope it is widely read by potential missionaries who may not anticipate some of their testing will come from their closest friends and supporters.
Bri: Encouragement and appreciation are so very important--in every endeavor in life, but especially in mission work, it seems. Or maybe it's in every field that focuses on meeting others' emotional needs. Ideally, we would have professional encouragers whose sole job is to uplift the people doing those kinds of jobs....but uplifting without puffing them up. :o)
Steve: That is a very high compliment. Thank you so much!
Brian: Thank you, Brian. I truly do appreciate the praise. ;o)
And I also appreciate what you're saying about sacrifice. Honestly, I'd never considered it from that perspective before. That does something to ease my (potential) frustration...and it's humbling. :o) Thank you.
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