picture of randomness

Several oddities here:

One, “Satisfaction of this product is guaranteed.” Why should the product be satisfied? I thought that I, as the consumer (of the coffee; this was on a package of coffee), am the one who should be satisfied? And besides, even if the product (i.e. the coffee) were the one who should be satisfied, how would the product even know if it were satisfied or not, seeing as how it lacks the consciousness which would be required for a determination of satisfaction or lack thereof?

Second, “Return to Harry and David if not satisfied.” There are SO many things wrong about this request. I don’t even know Harry and David. I’ve never been to Harry and David’s, so how could I even return to them even if I were dissatisfied with the coffee? (Which I wasn't, by the way; the coffee was caramel-flavored and delicious.)

Not to mention that there’s another way entirely in which that statement could be interpreted. But this is a public blog, so I won’t go there. ;o) I’ll just say it again: There are SO many things wrong about this request.

*grin*

The English language continues to be mangled on labels and public advertising everywhere.

*sigh*